i'm not really good at explaining things so I hope this makes sense to you guys. um, when I think about women it happens naturally. but, I feel guilty for not thinking of a man first like I used to. I think what in the world is wrong with me, I need to stop thinking gay things before people start to talk and think I am for real. There's no way I am I never had any childhood incidents that hinted I was everyone tells me that I was into boys and never got that vibe from me. I don't understand what the difference is between before and now, why aren't I having thoughts about laying in bed with a guy first? they are always second to thought and that's when i'm convincing myself that i'm not gay. In my mind I feel me being gay is too big of an issue. there's no way that I could be that it just seems so out of touch with who I am. I never thought I was before. when I get these thoughts about a woman I feel content, I smile, I feel warmth and I want to experience having a girlfriend. and when I think about a man in the same way I sort of drift off like i'm distracted and then I go back then drift off again. :help:
Does there need to be a reason for your change of heart / change of attraction? Would that make it easier for you to accept? If answers are your portal to acceptance, there's probably questions that you haven't asked yourself yet. Generally a counsellor or a telephone counsellor would have the knowledge and experience to be able to help you find the answers that you need. Perhaps look up one of the LGBITQ helplines in your country/city. Peace be with you and good luck!
