I am 18 years old and I have big crushes on girls. I have a girlfriend and I am attracted to her, I have fantisized about having sex with her, but she is really immature for a relationship and I really want to be closer to her, but we have cuddled and held hands and stuff and I really enjoyed that. I would LOVE to kiss her and make out with her.... I have never kissed a girl which is sad because I just graduated from high school. The issue lies, however, wih pornography. Gay porn turns me on more than sraight porn. I hate straight porn because it is so violent and rapey and that is unappealing to me. So, I climax faster with gay porn but the thought ond look of seeing a nice wet vagina being rubbed and just pleasuring a woman... With guys, I just like the thought of being anally penatrated and I just like penises. I have no desire for relaionships with guys and I have never had a crush on a guy. Am I gay? Update : With anal penatration, with me, a strapon would have the same affect. Also, in my real life everyday interactions, I don't feel any attraction to men, but I do with women. I am not really the type to repress anything, everything said here is true
Hi. It's hard to give a clear answer here with what you've said. It's possible you're bi, and it's also possible that you're closer to gay but not yet ready to let go of the "straight" label. What complicates things is that any time we start processing any type of loss (in this case, loss of the idea of being straight), there are stages, denial-anger-bargaining-grief-acceptance. So denial can be literally simply denying truth in the face of overwhelming evidence, and bargaining looks like "Well, I like guys, but I only really want a relationship with a girl, even though I feel more attraction to guys" So if we acknowlege that you aren't totally straight (which seems pretty clear) the rest is less clear and may take you some time to figure out. One suggestion I usually offer is to try masturbating a few times without any porn, let your mind wander, and see what sorts of images/fantasies come up if you don't consciously think about them. You can also try, intentionaly, masturbating to guys only, and then to girls only, and see which makes you more aroused. Porn by itself isn't a reliable indicator, but masturbatory fantasies are generally pretty reliable. As for the "I have no desire for relationships with guys"... if I had a buck for every guy-in-the-process-of-coming-out who had said that, I'd have a pretty large block of cash, because that is one of the most common rationalilzations we make as we're processing things. So again, I can't say whether you're gay, but I think we can likely rule out that you're completely straight. So most likely, it leans more in the direction of bi or gay, but I think the experiment above might help clarify things.
Does love have any bearing in sexual orientation? I talked to my uncle who is gay and he talked about how he had a girlfriend but only wanted friendship with her but with me and my girlfriend I would absolutely love to be intimate with her, romantically and sexually
Well, I just tried fantasizing sexually about a girl and I climaxed and it was pretty arousing. I can do the same with guys.
