So a friend of mine placed his hand on my lap and left it there for about seven minutes. Well, it didn't take but a couple, and for the first time ever I felt romantically attracted to another man. I just wanted to take him and hold him and get close and romantic with him. Two days later, today, I couldn't help but notice and feel aroused by another much older man's sexual features. I'm 21 and haven't ever thought about it before. I even have a son and was in a monogamous relationship for four years. Anyways after she left me I didn't really try to pursue another woman, and now for the first time in my life I have feelings for a man. Feelings I haven't felt toward a woman since my ex.
The questions I'd ask yourself are How do you feel about being romantic with a male? How do you feel about being sexual with a male? How do you feel about being romantic with a female? How do you feel about being sexual with a female? I assume the female questions are probably positive. It is possible you are bi. I think it is unlikely that your wife leaving you would cause you to like men. The gay community just doesn't have that many divorced guys (though there are a fair share of them). Are you interested in dating a man or do you think it is more of a sexual attraction?
Well its just this one guy, and I feel like I would love to date him. However on the same token I feel scared. I have a son. This is not convenient for me, and I wouldn't mind if my feelings just stopped. As far as the sex part goes, well I've always been scared of anal. It just seems dirty, but I was sitting next to a man with large muscles and pronounced jaw in a crowded car and even now I'm getting horny at the thought of him. I truly loved my ex. I dont feel a strong desire to date any women or get romantic with them, but I haven't really met any. She was my only romantic partner my entire life, but I did love her. As far as hereto sex goes, I could probably still do it, but I haven't been particularly interested in having sex. For example all the other guys deploying with me are only concerned about getting some before we leave, but I'm kinda avoiding it. ---------- Post added 3rd Jun 2014 at 03:32 AM ---------- I don't think my failed relationship had anything to do with it. That was about seven months ago and these feelings just started recently, at least as far as I noticed. I'm not particularly happy about these feelings.
I don't know that this will help with not wanting these feelings, but re the fear of anal part: There are lots of other options for having fun together besides anal. A significant percentage of gay (and I would assume bi) guys aren't into anal, up to and including having no interest in doing it under any circumstances. Another significant percentage of guys may like anal, but aren't going to let that be a show stopper if they like a guy who isn't into it. Like I said, plenty of other fun things to do. You might try just masurbating to fantasy and letting your mind go where it will, no expectations about what you 'should' be fantasizing about or judgement about what you end up thinking about. See what results and how you like it. You might also try 'allowing' yourself to check out guys for a day and see how that works for you. Again, this is without any preconceptions or judgement about what you should be doing or feeling. Now take another day and do the same with women. Do you find you enjoy one experience more than the other? Hope this helps, Todd
Hi there and welcome to EC. I think you've go some good advice above. Try not to judge or limit yourself. It wasn't until I was about 20 that I came across some gay porn and got a charge from it - until then I had no indication that I would be into that. But over 20 years ago things were different, and I still assumed I was straight and just had a thing for gay porn. I was wrong though. Similarly, I met and married my wife, and had 2 kids, and I did love her but didn't really have any strong sexual attration to women. Or men for that matter. It wasn't until I was in my 30s that I found myself attracted physically to men. Once I was out of my relationship with my wife, I became open to even an emotional relationship with a man - and I've never turned back. I came to realize that I was gay. So that could be you too. Or not. Try not to worry about it - because there isn't anything you can do about it anyway. But I'm glad you found us here. Welcome!
Thank you, and I appreciate your support. What do your kids think of it? My son is 2 I reckon it will be at least a two or three years before I figure out what exactly is going on with me and I decide to come out. How do your kids feel about it.
