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Not into sex?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by EternalAbyss, Jun 3, 2014.

  1. EternalAbyss

    Regular Member

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    Hey everyone, this is my first post so I'll get you caught up a bit. I'm a 22 year old gay guy who's never been in a relationship. There's no question that I'm gay and I've known since I can remember, but I want your opinion on something.

    Well to put it plainly, I just don't like most sex, especially anal sex. And I'm not a g0y, because I don't see anything wrong or "un-manly" about it, it's just physically uncomfortable and doesn't do much for me. And I mean topping AND bottoming. Bottoming just hurts way too much and I'm always afraid of rectal damage and/or getting a disease. And topping is uncomfortable for me because my penis is small and is not very strong when hard, so it's difficult to get it inside the hole and keep it in without slipping out.

    As if that's not enough, I don't really like oral sex too much either. I find it very tiring sucking a penis, especially a big one, and my small mouth gets sore fast. Receiving feels good though. Rimming is pretty much the only sexual act I like doing to a guy (I like being rimmed also). All sexual encounters end with us both jerking off and while that's fine with me, I feel like the other guy would probably want to either be sucked to completion or cum in me.

    What are your thoughts on this? And am I the only one who feels this way? I just find it difficult because I very much want a relationship and love non-sexual things like kissing, cuddling, touching, etc...but feel like nobody would want to pursue anything with me due to my lack of interest in sex. Any criticism is welcome. Thank you!
     
  2. Jim1454

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    Hi there, and welcome to EC!

    Reading this - I think you might have things backwards...

    If you've never been in a relationship, yet you've tried all of these things, who have you tried them with?!? I'm assuming it has been with someone rather anonymous where you don't know them very well, don't have any kind of emotional investment in them, and the same would go for them with you. Is that right?

    You might be surprised how much different all of these activities might be when you're doing them with someone you care about and have an emotional connection with. Someone who you can communicate with and cares whether or not you're enjoying yourself.

    It seems to me that you are interested in sex if you've gone to the trouble of trying it with other people - you just didn't enjoy it all that much. So don't write yourself off just yet.

    As for kissing, cuddling, touching - those things are all awesome - and generally put you in the mood for more. So I think the key here is to make yourself available to dating, and see where that goes. I know for some guys it's sex first and figure out if you want to date second, but that's not going to work for you - and you're not alone in that regard. So stick to your guns and look for someone who is interested in being friends first and developing a relationship that will eventually become physical.

    That would be my advice anyway. Good luck! And again, welcome!
     
  3. EternalAbyss

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    Wow Jim, that is great advice! You have it spot on. I guess I've just been impatient with the friends first part, but it seems like it would help me a lot here.