I joined several months (more than 3) ago because I thought I was bisexual. I'd been having feelings about girls for a while. I thought I was bisexual, because I thought I was into men too. Now I'm not so sure. My attraction for girls/women has grown these past few months. A lot. Like I don't want to spend the rest of my life with a guy. I think I want to marry a woman. And have babies with her. I've dated a few guys casually, and one seriously. I hated when he had stubble. I liked the kissing (when he shaved) and the touching, but the actual sex was boring. He was very sweet about the whole thing, and I pretended I enjoyed myself icon_redf). We broke up after a pretty brief relationship, and I wasn't upset at all. I was just relieved to have the whole sex thing over with. :lol: But I'm really not sure if it was him specifically. Guys hitting on me has always made me really uncomfortable. It makes me feel squicky. Like they only wanted me for my body. I don't think a girl has ever flirted with me, so I don't know how I'd feel. I think I'd be pleased. I just like women a lot more than I like men in general. I relate to them better, get along with them better, and find them generally more likeable. I want to date a girl. I just don't know where to meet one. School's out for summer, obviously, but I know stuff goes on during the school year. And a queer group meets weekly at a bar. I have to work up my courage to go there by myself. I'm pretty shy. The one friend I'm even remotely out to is visiting her family in SoCal for another month. I always seem to write these posts at ridiculous hours...it's past 1am here. Fewer barriers, I suppose. I don't know what I want...just needed to get it all out, I suppose.
It does sound like you are lesbian, because you seem to not be attracted to men but you are attracted to women.
How do I know for sure? Is there even a way? I was pretty convinced until a few months ago I was into guys and now I'm not so sure.
You just got to feel it. The amazing Chip often gives the tip that one might try to masturbate while thinking of one sex, then repeat the day after while thinking of the other. It sometimes work for guys, can't say if it's different for females. Either way, don't stress out about it. I used lables to help me identify myself, but not all people need it. Be honest with yourself and let go of prejudice and just feel. When you are honest with yourself without thinking about what's expected of you, you often realize something. I hope I've helped somewhat and that some if what I said made sense. Good luck!
I pretty much had some viewpoints until i read the masturbation part as i scrolled (and boy did i have a grin on my face). Based on the info you gave, you don't completely dislike men, being turned off by raunchy people hitting on you is more than normal, it's right. I recall when i was hit on during 9th grade i believe, by some girl who had her name and actions in the clouds for everyone to see (if that makes sense). I for sure wasn't attracted to her, wasn't pretty to me, and was insane, not classy ... just ... So that's understandable and nothing is wrong with that. All sex isn't good sex, there's different factors for the "yes" effect for people. What do you like in people? what would interest you? your ideal partner? i want you to answer this in the format of "Someone who...", and then tell me, what gender filled the shoes for that "someone", a guy or a girl? and would you consider dating a guy, if he had those ideal traits and characteristics? i know you sort of established that, but just try that out. And by all means go that bar when school comes back around, if they're people like you, that's who should surround yourself by.
My ideal partner would be someone who... is kind likes animals wants children is passionate about helping people is snuggly loves food is open-minded I don't want someone who: smokes is petty or passive aggressive is cruel picks fights is controlling I know both men & women who fit those descriptions. Still, I see a woman fitting it better. I wouldn't want to rule out dating a guy who fits what I want perfectly. I'd rather date a girl, honestly. I guess it will just take time to figure it all out. Everybody has been so wonderful and kind and helpful, so thank you so much for that.
