How "I'm not gay" or "I don't want to be gay" can only make you more gay.

In that case, wouldn't it be the same to say "I can NOT be straight" or "DO NOT be straight" and effectively 'become' straight for that reason? If it was the case homosexuality would be ,for lack of better word, 'cured'.

However it is an interesting theory but that wouldn't explain people that were raised in a completely open minded community were being gay is OK.

:icon_bigg

 

I disagree with this. It is fairly widely thought that nature is responsible for your sexuality, you seem to be suggesting that it is some kind of subconscious choice. Furthermore, being brought up in an homophobic environment will not make you want to be gay, it will do the exact opposite both subconsciously and consciously.
You're thinking more about curiosity - being told not to look in the box, a child will wonder why? Being told you're not allowed something makes someone curious as to why. If someone knows why they cannot do something, for example 'do not jump off that bridge' they will not do it because they know what the consequence will be.
I do not believe that your uncle had anything to do with your femininity, perhaps he affected how much you accept yourself for being that way, but he did not make you so.

---------- Post added 5th Jun 2014 at 07:36 PM ----------

Furthermore, whilst I agree that heteronormativity is a catalyst for homophobia it is not the cause. Minorities such as the two Thai girls at my school are ethically abnormal but I do not hold racist beliefs against them.
Misinformation is the cause of homophobia - religion leading people to believe that homosexuality is perverse, atheists who believe that homosexuality is a choice, people who think that homosexuality is linked to paedophilia. Hypothetically if you can somehow make these people believe the correct information then they will no longer be homophobic.

 

I think there's an alternative explanation to what you're saying: if you grow up thinking "Don't be gay" over and over, you might be repeating that to yourself BECAUSE you know you DO have gay tendencies, and eventually they become undeniable, rather than the other way around.

 

In conclusion, in my opinion of course, the fact that you are homosexual is not related to the homophobic environment that you grew up in. You are gay because you were born so.

 

Thinking you don't want to be gay might make you come out later

 

So, do i THINK i like girls? have i THOUGHT i liked girls for all this time? i just THINK i want to have sex with girls (which i have done so, strictly monogamous)? I'm asking that because, i have a situation where i'm suffering from long term, chronic masturbation and porn addiction. And that's really sent me on a spiral after some years of doing it. I now get erect from the view of a mans gentiles while watching porn. I don't have any desire to do anything with it, only desire i ever had/have is to be packing what they're packing. But nonetheless, seeing it makes me aroused. It's led me to have what is believed to be HOCD (homosexual obsessive compulsive disorder). I'm fine with homosexual people, I've had some lesbian friends. I was never told not to be gay either as a child. My question for the past few months is what am i? what do you call a guy who i identifies as straight literally, but can get erect at the view of a man's penis in a porn video? I haven't had sex in a year and a month, so i don't know how i well i am with a girl sexually. As i masturbated 1000 time more than i have ever kissed a girl. What's your take on that Prettybit? you seem pretty intellectual, or anyone's take would be nice.

 

I agree with other replies, you are born gay or straight. I knew I liked boys when I was really young, before I knew what gay was, before I was told by ignorant people that being gay was "wrong". I think if you grow up in a homophobic environment, it will definitely make it difficult for you to come out.

 

^

 

Twin studies and homosexuality
This is a summary of several twin studies into homosexuality. I recently posted something similar from a Christian site without realising that it was religious... so if you've read that, disregard what I said.
It says that around 50% of the identical brothers of homosexual men will also be homosexual. Whereas 20% of non identical twin brothers will also be gay. It can be assumed that both types of twins were raised in a near identical environment, so the fact that identical twins (same genes) are more likely to be the same sexuality than non identical twins (no more alike than brothers) shows that genes are a factor.
11% of adopted brothers (same environment, totally different genes) will share the same sexuality. The difference between this and the stat for twins shows the importance of genes in sexuality.
The accuracy of this is questionable, as people are not obliged to tell the truth, but it shows that there is importance in both environment and genes. The s

Furthermore, give some thought to this, why is it that around 90% of the population are attracted to the opposite sex? If environment was really that important in determining a person's sexuality, do you really believe that only 1 in 10 people have encountered some kind of event in their life to make them gay? If environment was really important in determining a person's sexuality, with no effect of genetics, the number of heterosexuals in the population would be much closer to 50%.
In terms of the sexuality is a spectrum thing, that's not something that I've personally had any experience with. In the environment I've grown up in, people tended to fit into boxes, myself included - being straight, gay or bisexual. But look up the Kinsey scale for more information

 

It is not necessarily accurate. They will survey as many people as possible (more people directly increases the accuracy) on their sexuality and then make the assumption that the entire population is the same composition. For example, in a survey of 100 people 10 are GLB (10%) and 90 are straight, they extrapolate that to say that 10% of the entire population is GLB, but they cannot know the exact percentage without asking every person on Earth. It becomes more accurate when you include more people, asking 1,000,000 with 100,000 GLB people is more accurate than asking 10.
If they are surveyed, those who are in the closet are included in the 90% and will make the results less accurate as they are lying. If they are not surveyed, then they are included in the 10%. For that reason if you were in a room with 500 random people and every one said that they were straight, it is likely that several are lying - statistically it would be 50 who are GLB but you cannot know. It is of course not impossible to be put in a room with 500 people and them all be straight

And no, it is not more likely for a child raised by a gay couple to be GLB. CBA to find evidence of this, but I have read that the percentage of sexuality is the same regardless of the sexuality of their parents.

 

Just had another read through the OP... and I really question this psychologist that spoke at your school - is there any chance your school picked him up off the street, gave him a suit and told him to give a talk to you?
The 'experiments' that he conducted/showed you to back up his theory are majorly flawed. For example, he said the words 'Do not think of a pink elephant' - if you were listening to him talk, isn't it impossible to not think of a pink elephant when you hear him say that? Surely, in order for you to know what thing you must not think of you must process the sentence and understand each part of it, including the pink elephant? If he'd said 'think of a pink elephant' you would have done so without question, if you were listening. I think the fact that he uses this as an example of his theory really says a lot about his credibility.
And again with the kids, it doesn't really show you that it's because they were told not to look in the boxes that they did so. If they'd been told to look in the boxes they would have done so. On top of that there are loads more reasons as to why they would choose to open the box rather than follow the instruction

 

I'm thankful for your reply. I researched and came across it [HOCD] and it was defined as something I ended up experiencing, all I can say about that.
As the next part of your reply, at the height of my addiction, I can say I have masturbated to everyone in porn. And I couldn't think of a man and I in some sort of sexual situation, even if I tried and I don't know how to try frankly. I have masturbated to women on and off screen (no pun intended) for as long as I was as an elementary school kid. I know what I am, but when you been through what I've been through, it's like you don't even know who you are anymore. I would like you to read my post of my autobiography concerning my porn addiction and my life, it will give you far much more insight.

 

I don't think it works like that. I feel like if you have to keep telling yourself not to be gay, it's because you already were gay and you know that on a subconscious level.

 

It won't make you gay. But it will make you miserable because denial is not a happy place to be.

 

Well it's a spectrum based on varying degrees of attraction. For some, they are only attracted to one gender, for others they can have varying degrees of attraction for both sexes, aka. having a slight preference for one over the other but still feeling attraction to both. And some just like both equally.

I don't think your sexuality can "change" as such, but your understanding of it can. I mean if someone identified as straight but they discovered that they were having feelings for the same sex, it doesn't mean they've changed. They just know themselves better. I tend to find that people who claim that they've "turned gay" usually aren't gay.

---------- Post added 1st Oct 2015 at 08:47 PM ----------

No. Just no. I don't think the parents' sexuality would have an effect on the child, I mean my parents are straight (as far as I know) and I still ended up being gay, so...

Usually when I hear the term "environmental factor" being used, in scientific terms it is usually used to mean hormonal changes that happen outside of the womb, or at least when ever I hear it being used it is used in that context.