I used to like girls before I was 13. When I was a child I thought men were ugly. And that girls were beautiful I had crushes on them I think when I was like 9 I would follow this one girl all around and would always be staring at her. I had a curiosity sense with her as well. But yeah like most of the childhood crushes were with girls. I did have a crush on a boy when I was even younger but I think I just looked up to him. It wasn't the same thing with my girl crushes... I thought when I was 12 I primarily liked girls. That was the year it began. I started having sex with my stepdad and later my brother my family life was really messed up. My stepdad would get drunk and violent and I'd do anything to not be physically abused. Later on I started developing an inappropriate relationship with my brother and during this time I had an interest in boys/men at 13. I never really saw a vagina on someone else when I did I was grossed out. I never really understood the build of a woman it always looked different to me. But I can get mindblown seeing a girl nude because she looks so different from me. I mean to say a curvaceous lady. But there's no desire to do anything about it. I actually find the idea of lesbian sex and porn an extreme turn off. Women usually makes me fantasize about a guy. Oddly enough. But like nowadays I only like men now it seems I only appreciate women like I want to dress them up do their hair and make up. I don't want to have sex though. I did though at one point my first sex dream was about a girl. With guys, I consistently like masculine traits over femme ones. Like I like the top heavy build that comes with the masculine build more often I prefer taller men etc. Anyhow, how likely is it that it did? Like are there any studies on this matter?
Short answer: No, sexual abuse does not affect sexual orientation according to the best research on the subject. This was extensively discussed in another thread just recently. If you search the archive, you should be able to find it.
oh I'm sorry. I didn't look. I still have a question though. Why did my sexuality flip like that then? I forgot to add that to the op.
As far as I know, there are lots of GLB people who don't experience any kind of same sex attraction until the onset of puberty, around 13, when attraction becomes sexual - and up until then only have opposite sex crushes. This sounds like you. I am sorry to hear about these terrible events in your early teens but I do not think that they effected a change in your sexuality. From what you have said above, I am confident that you were homosexual from birth. I do not think that sexual abuse will affect a person's orientation, however it can definitely affect a person's perception of their sexuality - a straight male who is abused may wrongly think that this is because he is homosexual. I do not think that your sexuality flipped. My personal opinion is that pre-puberty crushes do not depend on a person's sexuality, and that they are more based on curiosity and admiration for another perosn
I had sexual feelings when I was 12. At 11 sorta too. Like I could see the older kids the hot boys and hot girls. I did think of actually sex with older girls. But then I just stopped when I was 13 I started thinking about boys and it just got more obvious. When I was 14 I just wanted validation it seemed and sometimes I really don't know who I am or what I really like about myself. But I can't say I think I could ever enjoy a woman sexually like I do with guys. EDIT. Also I wanted to add it did definitely make me aware like if I hadn't been born the gender I was born I'd have not had to go through that. A reason to resent what I am. But I don't really on a long line of reasons really.
Well if you have/had genuine sexual attraction to women then you're probably bisexual. It's unlikely that it changed, in my opinion. Other people may say differently. My opinion on the (limited) information that I have on your situation is that you are a homosexual and always have been. It sounds like the effect of hormones and curiosity early in your pubescent years that were close to converging on sexual desire for the opposite sex. At the end of the day, we can all give advice to what we think you're going through, but you're the only one inside your head. Relax and give it time and soon enough your orientation will become clear.
Seriously thinking of it I grew up and felt more masculine as I got older. My own masculinity physically kind of promotes me to gravitate to men. Because I can't feel masculinized by whoever I am with because I constantly am validating that I am a woman. A woman would mess that up reason I don't like certain guys because they validate insecurities. Plus emotionally I can't really get on well with girls so maybe that's why it dissolved to nothing. I get really jealous with women. So maybe that's why. I can appreciate them but it just brings me back to my own problems so I guess I figured it out lol.
I have a relative who was sexually abused by their step parent for most of their child life. She's had major troubles in the relationship department. She used to think she was a lesbian/ wanted to be a lesbian, but eventually through therapy and what not shr found out she was straight. She married and had a child/ PERFECT life X]
Apologies mate... There were a few bits of this i didn't understand and I'm not sure what point you were making? ---------- Post added 6th Jun 2014 at 08:37 PM ---------- This guy's just validated a point I made earlier, that it won't change your sexuality, but it might make you think you're something other than you are.
Now that I think of it having less to do with the sexual abuse just my growing up. I grew tall 5'11" with broad shoulders slim build narrow hips long legs and a steady chest voice and masculine facial structure along with how I act I've never been accepted as a girl or a guy. That's why the whole thing with women. I never found it sexually attractive as I grew into myself because it never seemed to fit. I didn't really want a woman in with sex sometimes I want to dominate with a guy and I feel like socially more acceptable to so with a girl maybe that's what it's from. It's probably why I am this way to do. Plus I do get jealous of women the natural curves the natural contentness of being of the feminine species. The effortless femininity. For me it's had not to be jealous. It's easy for me with men. I can appreciate them without tearing my self esteem down I am more attracted to them because they match me physically. I realized emotionally and sexually I primarily like guys thanks everyone.
Yes, this sort of thing is not uncommon. Sexual abuse can create confusion, and generally causes the survivor to think more consciously about attraction and orientation, but it does not actually change orientation.
I think maybe for me it was something I was more curious about now that I think of it. Like what is it like to have sex with women as a guy? I never thought of it as a lesbian though. I never really think of things in the way I should though so that's why it's a little unclear
I'm not really unsure about my gender. I never really identified as either gender in the sense of feeling like a woman or feeling like a man. I have always been perceived as masculine though. But I don't feel like I'm a guy or a girl just me. I was just trying to say I don't feel really interested in someone who is more feminine like I said I think it was a curiosity like how is sex on the male side of things. That's how I think for the most part. But no I'm not unsure about my gender I know who I am.
Ah right, apologies I misinterpreted your gender label 'I don't really know' as being confused rather than not having a name for it. Didn't mean to cause any offence my friend. Well it sounds like you've figured out your orientation then?
