Bisexuals, when and how did you realize your orientation?

I fully realized it when I was a freshman in college, but the feelings towards both genders started at 12(attracted to girls at age 6, then guys at 12). Had a friend with benefits starting at 12. I thought it was a phase, but the feelings have trucked along since then until today. Although, all of my crushes turned out to be towards straight boys/guys except for my friend. But I didn't love him in a romantic way, we were the only two LGBT people in our circle and used each other more or less. Not a healthy relationship, but it happened.

 

I was probably into girls before I realised what attraction was biut then when I was growing up I only remember trying to figure out if I had a crush on guys. Looking back it's obvious why I had to think about it's, and that I had crushes on girls, but it just wasn't even in my mind then.

My first experience was with a female when I was I about 15 but it was nothing really, just a bit of fumbling, and then I had hat I thought were decent relationships with guys for a bit. I didn't start thinking any more about it until I was in my mid twenties. At the moment, a couple of years later, I can't imagine being with a guy again.

 

In 1990, I was 42 and married with 2 children. I was involved in a peer-to-peer counseling methodology and over the next couple of years I came to the conclusion that I was gay. Realizing that brought a lot of thoughts together and relief in that I had finally figured it out. However, while I did act on these feelings, it was very infrequent. I was very calculating to find situations where there was no chance that anything would ever surface. However, 1997 was sort of the beginning of the end as I took a 5 day vacation to Key West with another man. One night stands had given me some information, but this 5 day trip solidified everything for me. Not long after, my wife began to plot here exit strategy. We knew that it was the beginning of the end and over the next few years she would make periodic visits to places where she thought she might like to live. Our divorce was finalized in 2003.

Once my wife started to work on her plans, we lived on different floors in the house. We were not unfriendly, but the relationship was distant. I was working in Southern California for a time in 2001 and I looked up a woman out there that I had known previously, but we had never had a romantic relationship. I visited a few times and we both came to admit that there was always an undercurrent in our relationship that had never been acted upon and that set the wheels in motion.

As we had known each other for close to 10 years by that point, she knew all about my issues, but it was never a problem for her. As the relationship grew, it evolved into a romantic and sexual one. What I noticed was that I put a lot of energy into, and drew a lot of enjoyment from, our physical relationship. I realized that I could no longer think of myself as gay. Bisexual seemed to be much more appropriate.

So, a couple of years after my divorce, I married my second wife. We continue to enjoy a very good relationship. I have not been seeking any arrangements outside of the marriage, but who knows what might happen along? So, externally, I don't think I'm any different from what I was. However, I'm a member of our LGBT group at work. I'm much more aware of LBGT politics than I used to be and I look for LGBT-owned and LGBT-friendly places to patronize when I travel on business.

I have mentioned here that I crossdress. My second wife is good with that (didn't do that when I was with the first wife), but she would probably like it if I spent less money on my femme wardrobe!.

 

I didn't even think about opposite-sex attraction...that was just there at some point. But same-sex, I realized when I was 16, and I realized, "Y'know, I could actually see myself falling in love with virtually *anyone*...and I could see myself being sexually attracted to anyone I was in love with. Huh, I guess that makes me bisexual!"

So it was more intellectual than visceral for me at the time (that's common for me). But over time, both attractions have really reinforced themselves.

 

About the same time I developed sexual feelings, I realized I was attracted to men and women. When I was younger I had crushes on boys and girls, but I didn't know what homosexuality was, so I just assumed the male crushes where strong friendship.

 

I started questioning when I was 15 when I started having feelings for my best friend. I kept trying to suppress them, but now I know and it's not until at 19 years old that I've accepted it and started coming out about it

 

Same sex realization was 13 I think, first sexual encounter with another girl I was almost 16, and found it very enjoyable.

For bisexuality, it was last year at 26. I had dated guys prior to this in HS, even tried to force myself to do sexual contact with some of them, but it just didn't work. With my BF physical contact doesn't feel forced. I still have a natural desire for women though, and don't have any desire for guys in general, I guess I'm like a 95/5% bisexual ? And his penis didn't change me, I'm attracted to him not his penis. I don't think he changed me from lesbian to bi, I think (can't prove) that I merely realized something that already existed.

It really bothered me at first, but I realized that to deny my feelings for him simply because of a "bi" label would be like if someone had only had straight relationships all their life, and denied any gay or lesbian feelings they might have simply because of that label.

 

I think I've always been pansexual. I grew up just liking people, being attracted to people.
In middle school I came out as bisexual, but now that I've learned there isn't just "boy/girl" genders, I realized that I'm attracted to all genders.
Sometimes I think I'm gender blind or something, because I really don't care who is what gender. Like if I find you attractive, if I like who you are, then it is the way it is. And of course I can tell the difference between masculinity and femme traits, but I don't really care.
I don't care if someone looks masculine, or feminine. It has nothing to do with my possible sexual and romantic attraction.

I'm attracted to humans, but it doesn't mean I'm attracted to every single one.

 

As someone who thought they were straight and then thought they were bi and now am not entirely sure, I had signs throughout my life that I liked women but I tended to focus all my attention on guys. I had enough attraction to a few of them to convince myself I was straight but picky and very "vanilla" in my tastes.

It makes it easier to be bi/pan/queer when you're not totally averse to one gender. It makes it easy to deny or mask attraction to the other.

 

Well, it Was.... In December that I realised I had a crush on my two great friends(other male, other female). It wasn't hard for me to accept, more like "Oh I'm bi. That's great!" sort of thing and I started coming out in about March I think? So yeah, it was pretty easy for me. Bing, I realised it.

And I'm thirteen btw.
(This will sound pathetic, but I must add: Fourteen next week!!!)

 

I've only very recently realised I'm probably bisexual - in the last few months. I spent a long time trying to fit into the categories of either straight or gay but it never felt right. And for some reason, where I would have been completely fine with being gay, being bisexual totally freaked me out. I wasn't until I actively tried to label myself as gay (in my head for an experiment) that I fully realised I wasn't, and while I was attracted to women, I was still attracted to men. The whole thing makes much more sense now, as when it comes to gender I've always wondered why it mattered. Now I know it doesn't

Plus, I no longer have the whole "I don't know if they're the gender my sexuality is attracted to, but i fancy them...am I allowed?" rubbish. It's very freeing to just be me

(Just to note with the above sentence, in case anyone takes it the wrong way - I am aware it is okay to be attracted to genders outside your sexuality, but some people are extremely uncomfortable with it, and for someone trying to discover/hide their sexuality it can be a big deal)

Also: HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOR NEXT WEEK PANCAKESGURL!

 

I began questioning myself around 10 months ago when I found myself finding more and more women to be sexually attractive. Having not actually done anything with a girl I labeled myself as Bi-curious. However, it kinda annoyed me. I wanted to know what Orientation I was instead of jumping between Bi and Hetro. After going to various places and people for advice recently I was finally able to comfortably call myself Bisexual.

 

I'm still waivering between bi and gay, myself. What happened when you called yourself "gay" in your head? The idea of being bi freaks me out, as well. When I call myself "gay" in my head it feels a lot more comfortable, but I'm still a little confused as to how I feel about the opposite sex.

 

I felt exactly the same! I'm not sure really, I guess I then felt it wasn't okay to be attracted to guys and I was basically doing the opposite of when I'd tried to be straight. Weirdly I felt comfortable with the label, but at the same time I felt like a fraud, because I did check guys out.

I think what I was doing was imagining myself in a world where my label was the norm, until I didn't feel like I was repressing something. I didn't feel comfortable with identifying as bisexual to start with, I kind of feel like I've got used to it and it's grown with me as I've become surer - I think that's the main thing.

If you know you like women, there's no reason you can't identify as gay to yourself until you figure it out. After all, how many bisexuals identify as straight until they establish how they feel. For now, go with what feels most right for you, until it no longer feels right

 

I first realized I wasn't straight/I liked girls in about 7th grade, but I still remained attracted to people of all genders. I realized because I had a huge crush on a girl.

 

It was always there. Just didn't realize it until around 16. I found myself wondering if it was 'just a phase' for some time after though. It wasn't

 

I'd identified as straight until I turned 16 yo. Then, one day, not much later after my b-day, I was walking down the beach and checking out guys, and also looking at beautiful girls (not in a sexual or attracted way yet). I would let my look wonder towards anything that it liked. But a few days later, I caught myself only checking out the girls and I had a little voice in my head asking "Would a completely straight girls look at girls that much?".
A few months went by in which I wasn't sure whether I liked girls or not, until I dated one. I've known from the moment my lips touched hers that I absolutely love girls. The way I felt with her, it was so right, so baffling, so amazing... And since that day, I've identified as bisexual!

 

I guess an honest answer would be circumstance and reflection.

I first accepted being bi around the age of 32 (I'm 33 now). Up until then I was in a relationship/marriage from around the age of 20 plus I had two kids. During that time I never had to consider it as I was wholly focused on my wife and brushed off any feelings for anyone else.

When we split up last year, and there was a possibility I may one day find someone else, I finally had to confront it. I spent a lot of time in self reflection. I recalled the many times I had found myself attracted to both guys and girls from puberty onwards. That, and various other behaviour led me to finally accept that I was bisexual and there was no point in denying part of who I am.

Now I fully embrace that part of me and feel a fuller and more free person as a result.

Happy days

 

Sexual feelings for women started early, age 11 or 12. When I was 14ish I got freaked out because I noticed that I could tell if my mates were good looking or not, and I thought that meant I must be gay, obviously it didn't. At age 17 I had a one or two very slight notions of same sex attraction, so slight that I breezed straight past and didn't give any thought until now, and now age 18 I'm questioning, leaning towards realising that I'm bisexual. Not happy about it.