need some advice and support

what are you confused about?

 

Hello kebabs1981, welcome to EC. Feel free to tell us more, there are many people here willing to listen and help. You could start with reading other people's posts on the forum, I'd probably start with LGBT Later in Life section, and see that you're far from alone who's in the same situation. I for example realized that I'm attracted to women at 35 yo while still having a bf of 13 years. So, what do you need advice on?

 

Feel free to talk to me anytime. It can be a scary realization, I know.

 

Hi kebabs

take extra care of yourself at this time, if you are feeling scared. Do kind and nurturing things that make you feel safe and loved. Don't worry the feeling will pass in time, either sooner or later, but it will pass.

One thing to realize is that, despite what mainstream culture often teaches, there is nothing, zero, zilch 'wrong' or 'unnatural' or even 'unholy' about same-sex orientation. It is absolutely and positively as natural and valid as heterosexual orientation. (Would you believe that I only recently fully accepted this myself? Around that same time that I realized I'm actually bisexual, and not straight as I had thought for the last 20 years?)

Is it possible that you are unsure about this, hence your feeling of fear?

kind regards
b.

---------- Post added 9th Jun 2014 at 04:18 AM ----------

In many cultures, same sex attraction was celebrated, even held as sacred. Even their gods and goddesses got into it on occasion. Just look at the ancient Greeks and Romans, for example. The 'problem' we are dealing with is Christianity, which - despite the man himself (if he even existed) being quite an accepting chap - has turned out to be a force for discriminating against and condemning people just for how they naturally feel and who they love. So shedding any lingering 'Christian baggage' will be very helpful, if you can do it. After I shed the last traces of it from my heart, I felt so amazingly free and happy.

 

I'm not sure what advice you are looking for.. Just slowly cope with how you're feeling. Write it down, and don't be ashamed.

 

It's very individual how people cope. There's a difference between realizing that one is gay/bi/whatever their sexuality is and accepting it. For some people it may be very short time but for some people it may be a very long process filled with anger, denial, guilt, and depression.

Btw congrats on coming out to your friend. It's a big step. How do you feel about being a lesbian? Do you think that your family will be accepting? Is the area where you live LGBT friendly or do you live in a homophobic neighbourhood? Are there any LGBT centres/groups in your area where you could meet other LGBT people? Do you know in real life any person who's openly LGBT?

Sometimes it may be hard to speak about it at first, especially when it's all new and one is not comfortable enough about their sexuality and that's absolutely fine, but it'd be more helpful if you ask a little more specific questions so we could give you better answers. :icon_wink
P.S. I'm so sorry, you wanted answers and I ask you questions, haha.