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Homoromantic or gay asexual?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by trauma, Jun 7, 2014.

  1. trauma

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    I see myself as being one.. Wondering how many of you here identify with this label
     
  2. PlantSoul

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  3. Unkempt Harold

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    I hope you don't mind me asking, but what are those x)
     
  4. SimplyJay

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    I do see my self as something along those lines as well


    ------
    @Unkempt Harold:
    Homoromantic = Romantically attracted to members of the same sex
    Asexual = Not sexually attracted
     
  5. Fallingdown7

    Fallingdown7 Guest

    I'm somewhat gray-A, I consider myself just a normal homosexual, but sometimes I feel out of place between other gay people too.
     
  6. kyfry

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    Hi! I am a homo romantic asexual although since everyone already know Im gay Im starting to tell them now that Im also asexual.
     
  7. Acm

    Acm Guest

    I would probably be considered gray-A but I just call myself gay cause it's easier. I don't really feel the need to overcomplicate things cause it doesn't really affect me much currently. I used to think I was fully asexual though
     
  8. Jonathan

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    I think I'm somewhere in the area between gay and homoromantic asexual...as per the orientation section in my info :slight_smile: . To keep things simple and clear though, I just tell people that I'm gay.
     
  9. trauma

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    Thank you all for the responses.. Glad that I'm not alone in this.. Moreover it also requires time and experience to figure things out.. I believe handling relationships might become a bit challenging for people like us..
     
  10. MfromA

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    For those who don't know we are talking about, a homoromantic asexual is someone with romantic attractions exclusively to the same sex but no sexual attractions to anyone.

    I considered myself as part of this category until about a year ago. The problem with being homoromantic asexual is that it is almost impossible to get what you want. You want romance with a guy, but straight guys are out of the question, and most gay guys will want sexual activity at some point. A relationship with another homoromantic asexual might work but how do you find one? They only seem to exist on internet forums and there is no real life place where they meet up or way of identifying them in the real world.

    I believe if your brain is putting you in a position where all you want is something you can't really have then that is a disorder not an orientation. I researched the issue fruitlessly for some time until I came across a very enlightening book. Denial: My 25 Years Without a Soul. This is about a man who believed he was asexual until he was 25 and discovered he was gay. He is now in a happy same-sex marriage. It taught me that it possible to hide one's sexuality form ones self well into adulthood and that you can go from asexuality to being able to enjoy sex. (unfortunately the book doesn't go into much detail about that transition.)

    So I've decided I want to see if the same is possible for me although I can't say I'm making much progress. In any case, I'd much rather by "gay" than "homoromantic asexual". At least being gay provides a hope of desires being fulfilled. "Homoromantic asexual" seems like a dead-end to me. Is there anyone else out there who has a long-term story of being homoromantic Asexual and either finding happiness with that or transitioning to something else?
     
  11. trauma

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    I have problems with the way you define "disorder" as opposed to an "orientation". There are many things in this world people wish for but they can't really have it-- how does that qualify as a disorder? I agree to the extent that homoromantics are generally invisible but that doesn't invalidate their orientation. By now we have established that sexuality has no fixed pockets and it can take on diverse combinations of attractions and desires. Choosing to be "gay" rather than being "homoromantic" also becomes a purely personal choice. I will happily accept the "in-betweeness" of my sexuality and don't get me wrong here, I have no issues with the "gay" label just that I don't find it adequate to capture my needs.

    and the "transition" as you talk about-- remember it's not always necessary that there has to be this transition. While I am open to experiences, I would be content to be an asexual if it turns out to be so.. And also remember that "asexuality" itself carries diversity within its spectrum..

    You are right in saying that relationships can become complicated but if that is how things are meant to be, I would rather accept being lonely in life than to be with the wrong person. One can compromise to an extent but not at the cost of self-dignity..

    Hope you didn't mind my response!:icon_bigg
     
  12. pure love

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    Ok here I am , I label myself as homoromantic/asexual , but still not sure :/
    But the only thing I am sure about is my asexualilty!!!
     
  13. MfromA

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    We all want things like mansions and Bugattis that we can't really have, but most people don't obsess over them and they certainly aren't essential to our day to day well being. But love and intimacy are things that most people need. I don't see how I can get the kind of love and intimacy I think I need and I think about that every day. So maybe what I think I want isn't what I really want.

    True, but as long as they remain invisible my situation remains the same. I just can't accept that I'm so unique that I won't be able to find a partner without having to do this needle-in-a-haystack search.

    I accept that opinion if it works for you. I certainly wouldn't want to hook up with the wrong person either, not even for night. That's why I'm 37 and have had no serious relationships in my life. But I don't want to accept that 99.9% of the world population is that wrong for me.

    For me, sexuality is like a puzzle, I keep putting the pieces together in different configurations but none of them look quite right. Is there anyone out there who has also faced this puzzle and solved it.
     
  14. iamjustababy

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    I'm romantic asexual, but for the sake of time I just tell friends "no sex for me!"