1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Why am I more bold with girls than I am with guys?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by straightqueer20, Jun 7, 2014.

Thread Tools

Thread Tools

  1. straightqueer20

    straightqueer20
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2014
    Messages:
    131
    Likes Received:
    0
    Like I am really shy of guys I am attracted to. I have a hard time looking them in the eyes I don't check out guys and I'm not that talkative or flirty to guys I actually like. Yet I can flirt quite easily with a girl I can check out a girl quite easily and I'm not concerned if a girl may act like "eeeewww you're a lesbian or w.e". I don't mind the rejection. Like I actually tend to gravitate to girls when I see a hot guy I will pay more attention to her to avoid him. I will flirt with girls if I feel that a guy is interested in me. I am bad at doing the same with guys. I'm not attracted to girls so I don't usually like girls. But I will act as if I'm attracted to a girl in some circumstances. Like my first roommate was really jealous of me constantly would try to claim I had plastic surgery. I would pretend I was attracted to her and fawn over her act as if I was gay so we could get along better it helped validate her. She seemed to be more confident in he own attractiveness. She was straight so it wasn't that much of a problem. Or like with guys of my own ethnicity I usually am attracted to black American or south Asian guys. The darker type. But I could never do the same with a guy that I found unattractive. But I will act as if I will openly show signs of inclinations to women if it is in a setting where it is known I am a biofemale. To show that I'm off limits. It's unusual I would really ever call a guy attractive without reciprocation. With girls I don't really care about the response back. Anyone else find this for a less preferred gender?
     
    #1 straightqueer20, Jun 7, 2014
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2014
  2. Unkempt Harold

    Unkempt Harold
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2014
    Messages:
    270
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Earth
    I like women and I'm pretty much shy around every female XD
     
    #2 Unkempt Harold, Jun 7, 2014
  3. straightqueer20

    straightqueer20
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2014
    Messages:
    131
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'm not shy to every man just the cute ones really. lol. I have best friends that are so not my type and they're just my homies. No problem with them really.
     
    #3 straightqueer20, Jun 7, 2014
  4. idkgrrrl

    idkgrrrl
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2014
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    RGV - Texas
    Maybe the guys you are attracted to make you seem nervous? I know I'm semi-nervous around people I'm attracted to. Like I feel like I have to ignore them so I don't catch their attention (even though I want them to notice me and like me?). It's kind of weird but I guess it's like anxiety? I'm not too sure.
     
    #4 idkgrrrl, Jun 7, 2014
  5. straightqueer20

    straightqueer20
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2014
    Messages:
    131
    Likes Received:
    0
    maybe but at the same time I want his attention usually I guess I think I'm not good enough
     
    #5 straightqueer20, Jun 8, 2014
  6. idkgrrrl

    idkgrrrl
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2014
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    RGV - Texas
    I feel the way you do. I'm more confident with girls than I am with guys.

    "I feel I'm not good enough" is a feeling I get too! I honestly don't know what that is. I wish I knew for the both of us. Sorry my friend.:confused:
     
    #6 idkgrrrl, Jun 8, 2014
  7. straightqueer20

    straightqueer20
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2014
    Messages:
    131
    Likes Received:
    0
    It's alright. Thanks.
     
    #7 straightqueer20, Jun 9, 2014
  8. Peacemaker

    Peacemaker
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 14, 2014
    Messages:
    1,201
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Columbus, Georgia
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Im pretty sure its anxiety, intense nervousness i get from guys mostly and am more comfortable around girls
     
    #8 Peacemaker, Jun 9, 2014
  9. idkgrrrl

    idkgrrrl
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2014
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    RGV - Texas
    Okay, you know how being queer is like "not normal" to a big amount of society? Well I think that it is anxiety.

    For instance, I'm bolder with girls because there's the social norm that "girls don't like girls, they like boys". Since I'm not a boy, I feel like there is something in me that makes me confident because "they probably won't like me cause I'm a girl" so I don't feel anxious.

    Moreover, with guys that I know are gay, I'm not anxious around them, because they won't like me cause I'm a girl.

    But with other guys, that are straight I'm very anxious around cause there is a social norm that they like girls.

    Like, I'm anxious around people that have an expected possibility that they will be attracted to me.

    It sounds dumb, but maybe that's the reason? I don't know. I'm just like freelancing and thinking..
     
    #9 idkgrrrl, Jun 9, 2014
  10. Peacemaker

    Peacemaker
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    May 14, 2014
    Messages:
    1,201
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Columbus, Georgia
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    oh that might have some true in that :slight_smile:
     
    #10 Peacemaker, Jun 9, 2014
  11. idkgrrrl

    idkgrrrl
    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2014
    Messages:
    0
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    RGV - Texas
    Maybe. I'm not entirely sure though.
     
    #11 idkgrrrl, Jun 9, 2014
  12. straightqueer20

    straightqueer20
    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2014
    Messages:
    131
    Likes Received:
    0
    Well yeah for me it's like a bit of nervousness since I'm not like other girls that worries me all the time. Truth be told many of the time people think I'm some effeminate gay guy so I am kind of shy of the rejection because I'm not perceived as a girl it could have the possibility of going wrong if I were to check out a guy.

    For me I also don't like girls so I know I'm safe and don't care really. It can't go anywhere because I don't feel anything for girls.

    So it just feels easier not that heavy for me really.




    ---------- Post added 9th Jun 2014 at 04:36 PM ----------

    I agree
     
    #12 straightqueer20, Jun 9, 2014
  13. biffle50

    biffle50 Guest

    I'm nervous around really attractive people.
     
    #13 biffle50, Jun 10, 2014
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)