I want to clear my orientation up so I don't question myself anymore, but I think I need some help. I'm a bi-gender/androgynous/genderfluid person (I'm still trying to figure out what my gender identity is exactly). I thought I was a masculine straight girl until recently when I came to understand myself better. I never was really into boys until 5th grade (whether that seemes early or late to you, it was much later than my girly friends). Even at 5th grade my crushes were pretty weak. At 9th and 10th grade I had the biggest crush I had ever had, but he friendzoned me, haha. We're good friends now, and I'm finishing up 10th grade. He told me he was bi just recently, which surprised me because he had just decided to tell me then instead of earlier. My tomboyish nature had started a long time ago, but just a couple of months ago I started fantasizing about this girl in my class. I am confused not because I thought I was straight, but because I don't even know her very well; my attraction isn't based off of much personality, just lust, I guess. She's one of the only lesbians in my school (I go to a small one). I've never had a crush on a girl before now. If I got in a situation with her I'd probably find it very awkward and I probably wouldn't know how to handle it. But she is a very powerful crush, like the guy, but only sexually. I'm wondering if it's a fluke because this kind of crush, one on a girl, has only happened once so far and I'm actually straight, or if I'm bi? Advice about this would be appreciated very much. >.< PS. I've never had a first kiss or been in a relationship before (yeah, I know, I'm behind), and my parents are strict *so it stays that way, so I will feel kind of helpless if you tell me to "experiment," as I'm not supposed to be in a relationship with anyone. Unless there are other ways to experiment that I'm not thinking of.
ok, i think i can help its normal for you to get crushes based on appearance and sexual desire, its about the time i noticed boys anyway, if you want to label yourself i would probably say bi or lesbian
I had my first attraction to a guy a couple of years after I started noticing girls and I don't know about you but I feel like that's normal for people during puberty. Since puberty isn't a one year thing and has many stages it seems normal for someone to like the gender they've been taught to like and then one day realize that they truly like the other gender.
I see what you mean, thank you both for your input. I just question myself because I've had many more guy crushes than girl ones. Maybe I'm bi with a male preference? I don't know.
