hey guys i'm new here, i joined out of frustration with myself about my sexual identity. someday i don't think of it at all and some days it tortures me. especially in the summer when i have lots of spare time, anyway, i know for sure that i am not gay but the is a massive doubt in my mind that i might be bisexual/pansexual. i have been masturbating since i was like 14 and i can masturbate to both straight and lesbian but i lean more to lesbian porn. i have never had a crush on a girl but i have had many sexual dreams about girls (mostly family members, which freaks me out) i have only had 2 major crushes in my life and they were both with guys. the first i was only romantically but the second was romantically and sexually. i have come to conclude that i am not straight and i am ok with it, but it just stops there. i don't know who i am. i am going into my second year of college totally confused again. i come from an african christian family where they think all gays go to hell and all sorts, and i am terrified of telling my family, my mother even said if any of her children were gay she would be furious, but i know God still loves me no matter what, my two best friends know that i bend in the spectrum and they are fine with it. my mother constantly talks about marriage and being a good wife to my husband and being a good mother, but to be honest i don't think i want to get married ( to either male or female) but i want to have children. i don't know what i want out of life anymore. i am so confused. i just want these knots in my stomach to stop. can anyone help me figure out how to get my mind off it...
