Hey everyone, Im new on here and this is my first post. Im a 24 y/o male that considers myself mostly straight but a little curious about giving other guys oral. I have done it a few times in safe situations, but I cant help but feel bad about it in the days/weeks afterwards. I often will try and get some "straight action" with girls by trying to find someone at a nightclub or going to a stripclub to kind of convince myself that I still like girls as well. I do still like girls but I find it weird that I need to have some type of girl experience soon after a homosexual one in order to feel "normal" again. I just wanted to see if anyone else has similar thoughts/feelings. Thanks
You seem to feel regret in having your experiences with the same sex, feeling that in order to be normal you must be with the opposite sex, suggesting that you find same sex abnormal, which isn't true. My suggestion is you refrain from having any further experiences with guys until you can be sure that is really something you want, and not something you're going to look negatively back on, in order to end this cycle of feeling you need to correct it with a "girl experience" Speaking for my own sexuality and experience, I'm attracted to both guys and girls. I do like being with both, at times thinking of one while another time thinking of the other...it depends, my attractions for men and women are as different as night and day, and so are the relationships. Doesn't mean I don't enjoy and value them both though, and certainly don't feel bad about it. Think you might be feeling conflicted with societal pressure to be a certain way when inside of you know you want something else but are too ashamed or embarrassed to allow yourself to fully enjoy it, or feel the need to punish yourself, correct yourself for it afterwards. Either way, as I said you need to do some introspecting, and really allow yourself to be ok with those experiences. Hey you only got one life to live not worth languishing over what's happened, but if you really feel that you can't cope with the decisions you made, that they have traumatized you, then I suggest you try therapy to see if that helps. And keep posting here, lot of wise, insightful people here I have found them to be, and sure they will help you out. Good luck to you I really hope things get better.
Hi there, and welcome to EC! What you are doing sounds somewhat 'compulsive'. You want to do it, you do it, you feel bad for doing, you compensate for it by doing something else, and the cycle repeats. That's my concern. And I can certainly relate. Could it be that you want to do more than just oral, but aren't willing to admit it or accept it? Because it doesn't sound like you really 'want' to hook up with girls, but you do it in order to feel better or validate your masculinity. You want to be with a guy, but you don't feel good about yourself for doing it. You don't want to be with a girl but you do anyway in order to feel good about yourself. What if you were gay? How would you feel about that? What would be your concern? What fears do you have around that? It might be worth finding someone to talk to about this - a counsellor or therapist - before the cycle continues, or escalates. I worry about your motivations for your same sex or your opposite sex activities. Not sure if this helped or not...
