Hello great people that seem to know me better then the rest of the world! For the past two weeks I've been basically trying to confirm on whether I'm gay or not. Now I haven't found an answer yet but high school is coming soon so I'm hoping that next year I can learn a little more about my self and such. During these past few weeks I haven't even been depressed and if any of you read one of my other threads I stopped cutting like a month ago! But I was hanging out with my big brother this week and we coming out of the store and I'm trying to act normal around everyone I know as to not let them know about my little secret. Anyway we are walking out and this girl is behind us and my big bro says something stupid about how he would "tap" that and I said something along the lines of yea or some stupid thing. It made me uncomfortable because after words he said "Well at least I know your not gay." This kinda just crushed me on the insides even though I still acted normal in my head I was freaking out like "You will never know the truth." I just don't know what I'll do if I am gay how will I tell him and everyone else, I mean my big bro is kinda like the only brother I hang out with and I don't want him to think less of me. What he said just shook me up because he doesn't know the truth about me. How am I supposed to cope with this for the time being until I know for sure? I'm so scared that everyone will hate me if I'm gay and I don't want that, so far only a few trusted friends know that I'm questioning my sexuality and I only told them because I trust them and don't like keeping secrets from them, but if my little brother got a hold of this information he would tell everyone he met. My friends are the only ones who know yet I still can't talk to them because I feel like they won't understand what I'm going through, I mean one of my friends has a girlfriend and another one actually likes me, I feel bad for having to turn her down every time. I enjoy her company as a friend and trust her completely but I don't think I could ever go out with her, it seems strange and weird to me. Not only that but kids at my school keep wanting me to go out with another girl and have even started mixing our names together. For the most part I think they are joking but it still makes me feel strange. I just don't know what to do, you guys have helped me before and I thought it would be a good idea to come here again since I can't talk to anyone else. So please any advice on what to do with these different situations? I just need some advice so I can know how to react to this stuff in the future. Thanks again guys your awesome for helping a loser like me, seriously you guys are awesome.
dude, you are not a loser, has for your big brother if you end up telling him, you never know he might come around, your friends i think only those that you trust should know about you questioning and your little brother, idk thats a hard spot but, you havent mentioned your parents, what about them?
My parents huh? That's actually a tough one, I mean my mom has always said do what I want with life and don't let others put you down so I'm not worried about my mom much. My step dad could be a different story since he's one of those big guys that is gigantic and "manly" I guess is the word to use? I'm not sure. Anyway I think he might stay by my mom on this. I was also gonna add something to the post but I'll just put it here. People at school keep calling things gay or calling each other 'faggots". I hate it so much, and it really angered me for some reason so I came up with a plan for my school. When ever I hear someone say the words gay, faggot, queer or homo I explain to them the real meaning of the word. Gay=happy Faggot= A bundle of sticks or a cigarette Queer= Weird or strange Homo= An extinct type of human but now includes modern man. It gets on peoples nerves when I do this so I keep doing it XD.
Actually, a faggot is a traditional dish from the north of England. It's meat and breadcrumbs that's then shaped in to a ball and served with gravy and potatoes. A bit like a dumpling. However, a fag is a cigarette.
Hm I didn't know that but a faggot is a branch or twig, or a bundle of these things. Anyway, is there anymore advice you guys can give me? I appreciate every little piece of advice you guys give me.
