I'm a 17 year old girl from NY. I have a wonderful boyfriend. The problem is that I think I may be bisexual or lesbian but there is no possible way of finding out if I want to stay loyal to him. All my life I've always been attracted to boys, naturally. They make me excited and I love flirting and I've hooked up with them since I was 15. I am a virgin. I have done everything except sex with boys and just kissed and groped a girl. I gotta say I would love to do more with one. It was exciting and new and I was so turned on. With former boyfriends though, the sexual attraction would wear off and it felt like I was trying to please them rather than pleasing myself. As for porn I can only watch lesbian but I can only picture myself in a commited relationship with a man. I need insight. I know this is the most cliché post ever but I'm desperate to talk to someone. Please HELP!!!!
I totally get what you're saying about sex with a guy being about trying to please him rather than yourself. Whether or not it's cultural, it's still a thing. It sounds like you're somewhere on the bisexuality spectrum; more clarity will come with more experience but you seem to be aware of certain attractions to one gender vs another, which is a great place to start. You're at least into women sexually and into men romantically, but for most people whose sexual and romantic attractions don't align, attractions aren't exclusive. And maybe you need to find your "type" within a gender. Have you tried talking to your boyfriend about this? Assuming he's not creepy about it, it would be awesome if he supported your exploring this. If he's not, then it's your call whether or not to stay in the relationship. It sounds like you're not ready to give up on it, but make sure not to stay in it out of momentum or fear of losing him.
Oh, my dearest Idkgirl, I was EXACLTY in your situation at your age!!! Let me first state that I know exactly what you're going through, and I want to wish you good luck. Here's how I resolved it: I realised at some point that I was no longer indifferent to girls, and I'd been a year and a bit with my boyfriend by then. I told him that I was wondering about my sexual orientation. I was very lucky, because he was very supportive, and he understood. He even halped me to accept myself completely as bisexual. He let me try to do stuff with a girl and from that moment on I've always known I liked girls! He was actually very keen and asked me to tell him the details. You know, I'd say go for it Your curiosity is going to grow stronger, and it may break your couple if you don't do anything about it! Discovering your sexual orientation is discovering a part of yourself. And how can you have a fulfilling, happy relationship if you can't be yourself in your couple? (I speak from experience, trust me.) If you think your boyfriend will accept the idea, talk to him about it. Assure him you just want to "try out" things with girls, and he's the one you'll always love. Generally guys like the idea of their girl with another girl (but it's not true about all of them, mind!). If he's not okay with it, you always have the option of not talling him. After all, some things are better left unsaid. But that's all up to you Good luck !
