Any other "questioning" females go back and forth?

Your thoughts truly feel familiar...I'm sorry, I don't have any advice for you, all I can say is: you're not alone!

For me, especially the last year has been a real roller coaster. Some days I'm certain I prefer beeing with women, some weeks later I'm quite sure I don't - but most of the time when I come to think of it, all I know is, that I'm pretty confused.

Because all serious relationships I ever was in(wow, that sounds like an enormous number of relationships, in fact it's been the enormous number of two^^) was with guys, I actually say - if I'm asked - that I'm straight...even if that doesn't sound right. I always knew, I'm attrackted to women though I never identified as bi or lesbian.

Well, I guess it's somehow usual to vary when you still are questioning yourself??

 

Hi sugarskull! I understand exactly how you feel. When I first came out in my teens, it was as bisexual, but after a year of being with my then boyfriend (who's also my kids father), I started to believe that maybe I was gay instead. I just did not desire him the way that I thought I should have if I was genuinely attracted to him. So, I started to identify as gay because the label bisexual did not feel right to me whatsoever.

After years of fighting my desire to be with a woman, and due to my lack of desire towards my boyfriend, we decided to go our separate ways. Although, I was completely sad, it was for the best for the both of us. And since I was finally free to pursue my true desires or so I thought, I started casually dating women.

It felt so right and more natural, however, after I broke up with my last girlfriend in November of last year, he and I got back together and we are expecting another baby. And while I'm sure its my hormones, my desire for him has completely disappeared again and it's driving me crazy! I want to be with a woman, but given my current situation, that isn't going to happen anytime soon.

If anything, I've pretty much given up on trying to figure out my feelings right now. I know that I prefer women more at the moment (always have), but I know that my desire for boyfriend may return...hopefully. If not, then I will probably exclusively date women, but still identify as bisexual because my feelings are so sporadic. So, believe me, you're most definitely not alone

 

Yup I get it. I am attracted to my husband but if my mind gets flooded with "lesbian" things then I lose my attraction for him. Same thing if I meet a woman I may be interested in. Then comes the other side, I've been fretting for a while about being completely gay only to see a guy today with a hot butt and I started fantasizing about having sex with a man.

I don't go out much anymore and I rarely watch tv so I don't get lusty feelings for men that much. I love my husband very much and love being with him and I still check him out, but the need for a woman gets very strong sometimes.

I too have given up on figuring out myself - I'm just thinking I'm bisexual but lean more towards women, especially emotionally and lean towards men sexually.

 

Yuuuup most definitely. I have no idea some days; other days I'm so clearly gay. I stay open to the possibility and try not to label myself.

 

I find bisexuality is like this...It happens to me all the time, so you most definitely not alone my dear (*hug*)

 

This is EXACTLY me right now!

I was 'straight', came out as bisexual at 15, started questioning on my 21st and now I have NO idea - except I keep going back and forth all the time.

Is this bisexuality fluctuation or denial?

 

I didnt think anyone else knew how I felt! Wow!

I spent a year being bombarded with lesbian dreams, fantasies and attractions, only to find men a bit attractive again this past week. Prior to last year ive been bisexual and was wondering if im gay...but i feel unstable and find it hard to figure it out.

 

I understand as well, and as you can see there are a lot more that feel like you.

I'm in high school and I just got a crush on a girl recently, but sometimes the crush isn't strong. But sometimes it is; this one day I was in the same room with her because she sometimes comes in to work on something (she has study hall that period). I had to ask her if I could use the camera, which she was using at the time. I got butterflies in my stomach, my face got hot and sweaty (to be fair, it was kinda hot in there), and I stumbled over my words slightly. Just from talking to her.

I sometimes fantasize about her, too. But today the feeling wasn't strong. Probably because school's just getting over next week and I won't see her the whole summer, as we aren't that close of friends. But I'm confused, like you, because she's the only girl I've ever had a crush on, while I've had many crushes on boys. I'm a Kinsey 2. So I'm more straight than lesbian, but I am still confused about my going back and forth.

Sorry that I've rambled; this is really the only place I can. TL;DR: I am another among many that feel like you.

 

When I was fifteen I was extremely confused. I identified as bisexual and I felt like I liked girls more on some days and guys more on other days.

This wasn't a nice feeling at all. I later started to feel paranoid about being attracted to family members. After that I learned about HOCD. It was like reading my own story. It was nice to know that I wasn't turning into a pervert.

I'm still struggling with HOCD today. Gay feels like the best label for me, but I often wonder if I could be happy with a man. I also have some internalized homophobia. It's getting better, but I still have my bad days.

 

all the damned time.

---------- Post added 21st Jun 2014 at 12:21 AM ----------

Seriously, I just started a whole new thread about these exact feelings that I'm having!

I can't tell you how relieving it is to read all these replies, to know I'm not alone.

How do you ladies deal with these feelings? What about those of you who are in committed relationships with men?

I don't know what to do. Right now is definitely a lady preference time. I am constantly fantasizing about women, but I am still attracted to my fiance.

It's so confusing!

 

I'm glad to know this happens to so many other people. It's incredibly frustrating and it makes me feel like I can never come out because I never know when my feelings might change and I don't want people thinking of me as a "confused bisexual."

 

Are you sure that you are questioning? To me, it sounds like you know what you want. You tend to have a sense of despair because you "just want to touch a woman". Hun, I think the answer is right in front of you. I wish you all the best.

 

Maybe your sexual orientation is different from your romantic orientation?
I sometimes think I'm a homoromantic heterosexual (not 100% sure though) and that makes me really confused as well.

 

I believe you feel that way because you know it's not just a friendship for you, that you'd want so much more with her.

 

I've been feeling nearly the same way. I have no obvious desire to sleep with a man, but I've been in a relationship with one and have had crushes on them, too. It's all very confusing. I'm starting to think either I'm a biromantic lesbian, or a female leaning bisexual with intimacy issues. So yes, I totally relate to your going "back and forth."

 

At least I feel a little bit better now, knowing that are people like me.
I'm also in a relationship for almost two years with a guy, I love him very much but sometimes I have those thoughts about having something more with women, it's all weird. I also feel guilty thinking about that because I feel like I'm cheating too.
I still have a desire for him but it's not the same, so I have no idea about what I'm feeling or what I am :icon_sad: and like Mari11 said, it feels like I can never come out because everything is so confusing.