so to make a long story short, ive been an open lesbian for 7 years, since a very young age. Ive been in short relationships with guys, but never done more than an almost innocent kiss with them. Over the years a few close male friends have told me they had feelings for me and ive almost been able to say the same thing back. i feel as though emotionally i can fully be in a relationship with a male. but im terrified by the idea of having sex with a guy. i can honestly say some days it generally grosses me out and others i just want it just to know for sure. however ive been in a serious relationship with a woman for about 3 years now. i can not see my life without her but i am seriously concerned that this longing to find out if i want to be with a man will haunt me for the rest of my life. i need some advice. i dont know what to do. at this point i have almost completely cut off all male friends because somehow they always seem to confess feelings, and i get too close and wonder if i have feelings too or if its just the questioning. im scared to get emotionally close to a guy for fear that this longing is going to come up even though theyre just my friend. thank you for your help in advance!
not at all. shes the type of person who will automatically end everything if i were to tell her this.
Why do you want to do things with guys if the thought grosses you out? Is it true curiosity or do you feel pressured to make sure you're gay?
it does and it doesnt. like i cant watch porn with males in it but then i form such strong emotional bonds with males and i wonder what its actually like. like i wonder if i really dnt want it.
What's your emotional connection to your girlfriend? You say she'd end everything if she found out, and also you're seeking out other emotional connections. You have essentially become a closeted bicurious person and you can't talk to your significant other about it. Have you ever been with a guy? What are your friendships with guys like?
we have a great emotional connection. or at least i think. were essentially best friends but the attraction is more than there and were overly romantic etc. she would end everything because she has been left for a man before and maybe is being superficial but will only date lesbians now because of this. i am very much seeking other emotional connections. i have no friends of my own since this relationship started. after high school not one kept in touch so she is all i have to talk to. she on the other hand has many close friends. its pretty much a double standard because she gets very angry if i have friendships. especially when they are with males.
She is insecure and is being overly possessive, although I can empathize where she's coming from. She needs a therapist.
