Hi all. Let me start off by saying that I have absolutely nothing against people being who they are. For me, I'm just confused. I am a 20 year old female and have always considered myself straight. I have had crushes on guys since as early as I can remember. With that being said, my first sexual experience was with another girl when I was very young. It happened a couple of times and has haunted me ever since. I don't mean that to offend anyone in any way that's just how I feel about it. Now, I have a boyfriend of about 7 months. I love him with all that I have. When I'm with him I'm the happiest I could ever be. I have been friends with him for over 7 years and it took me a long time to realize what I had was right in front of me. He's everything I could want in a person. He is in the service and is currently deployed and we just reached the half way mark until he comes home! With this being said, a couple weeks ago I had a dream that I was with a girl and she had a penis... And I was turned on! It made me think about my sexuality on a deeper level and I haven't been able to sleep, eat, or think straight for two weeks. I know you can't tell me my orientation or anything like that, but opinions of others would really help. I talked to my mom about this all and she says that I should stop worrying because I love my boyfriend and it's just me missing him. I only get to talk to him every couple of weeks which makes it worse. Any advice/comments would be really appreciated! Another side note, I've kissed my friends when drunk but have felt nothing. I love my boyfriend and would never want to hurt him and I think that is what is making me so worried about this dream.
Hi :smilewave Well... imho there's nothing there which is saying you aren't straight. You might have had a same-sex dream, but dreams can mean lots of different things and, sometimes people can have dreams which don't quite match up to their orientation. It happens. You say you had an experience with a girl but you never said you enjoyed it - obviously you don't have to answer if you don't want to, but what was the experience like? Lots of people have same-sex experiences in their teens, some have them and then discover it's not their cup of tea. Others like the experience but don't feel enough of a spark to continue with the same gender. With regard to your irl attractions, you do sound straight so far. Have you ever had any fantasies about girls or had crushes on any? Any girls you notice *in that way* on the street while you're out and about? I'd say if the answer's no for all of them and it's just the dream by itself there's no need to get worked up about it, since the dream in isolation could mean loads of things and on its own I wouldn't say it's a big enough pointer. Whether or not you're uncertain about liking girls, you sound certain you love guys, specifically your boyfriend, and to me it sounds as though all the feelings are there for you, so I don't think you'll end up hurting him at all!
