*explicit content, yo Okay! So, I identify as lesbian, but only super recently. Like the past month. I've been dating guys (like I said in my intro) since I was 14. I had my first sexual experience (with another girl) at the age of 8 (super young, I know!), and again when I was maybe 13 or 14 with another girl. Then, I lost my virginity to a guy at 19. I held off on sex with men because I thought it would hurt (it didn't yaay). Now, I have developed emotional attachments to a total of 4 males since high school. All because they rejected me (usually not wanting to date me for some reason). I feel like that maybe it had to do (looking back) with me having some sort of psychological issue with my father, as he never really paid me much attention as a child. So there's that. So, as for women...I know I am a thousand times more attracted to women than I am to men. I love the smell, taste (usually, haha), feel, touch of another woman...it's like an explosion of fireworks behind my eyes when I kiss another woman. I still find some men attractive, though. Like looking at a pretty picture. But thinking about having sex with guys (after I discovered toys ) just doesn't seem right. So, advice? thoughts?
My advice. Have sex with women XD ---------- Post added 15th Jun 2014 at 09:11 PM ---------- And get out of texas
Oh yes! I have, and I intend to....but I'm from Texas!!! I have not found a single lesbian to hook up with....and the only chick I did find, turns out "oh, I'm sorry, I was drunk and I have a girlfriend" x___x
Just because you think a man looks handsome or nice looking or dated men in the past doesn't mean you can't be a lesbian , I say focus in the now . To me I think your lesbian . I say focus on how you feel now and less on the past . And like the first answer said find a woman to have sex with there are lesbians in Texas I'm pretty sure of it they'll just be hard to find and like the first answer said move
I agree with Stocking that you can have sexual experience with guys and realize it isn't really for you, and that's totally fine. I will admit, I do take some offense to the fact you say you 'lost your virginity (a non-existent concept) to men when you had slept with women in the past. I would say that even if you slept with a man (and you are a lesbian) it shouldn't count or feel more important now that you realize what is right for you.
So sorry to offend. That was not my intention. I suppose I should think differently about "virginity". But, if I counted my first sexual encounter at all, I'd have to say it was when I was 8. At the time I felt kind of taken advantage of, mainly because the other girl was older than me. But I liked it. Anyways. Inside my head, I "counted" losing my virginity when I first had sex with a man. But, I guess it doesn't matter. Here I am now, finally coming to terms with all this :3 ---------- Post added 16th Jun 2014 at 08:24 PM ---------- @stocking thanks for the advice/input it is much appreciated~
I wouldn't count the situation at age 8 since I don't think sexual abuse "counts" and neither does child sex play (since It's too common). But I would count the teenage situation, just like I would count teenage straight sex. I'm just warning as something to tread carefully on because the concept of virginity is looked down upon in the lesbian community as one of the worst slurs of all time.
Generally, virginity loss refers to penetrative sex (penis-vagina). Two women can't do that together, so a lot of lesbians are triggered by the term 'virgin' because it either reminds them of the fear of not being good enough, or a flashback of their sexual abuse (since lesbians have higher risks of being raped by men). Okay, the best comparsion would be this. Imagine you had a long-term girlfriend that you loved and had dated for many years. You broke up, she found a boyfriend and told everyone that her new boyfriend was her "First relationship/love ever". Yeah, It'll sting and It'll make you wonder "What about me?" or "Why wasn't I good enough?" Now, personally I think definitions should be defined for themselves, so I apologize if I was rude and I think if you want to count the man as the 'first' you can. I just wouldn't bring it up to a future girlfriend in case it causes a self-esteem issue. I'm passionate on the subject because I've worked with a lot of 'victims' of virginity, and It's made me hate the concept.
Ahh, that makes sense. I guess it doesn't matter when I lost my virginity or to who. It's really a great relief to come to terms with myself. I told my ex boyfriend (we'd been off and on for two years, I was always the one to break things off, and he'd been wanting to work things out) about me being a lesbian, and he said, "You should give it a shot." I'm so thankful to have so many supportive people in my life. Just worried about the family still...
@Fallingdown7 Thanks I hope so, too. I'm not sure if it'll be anytime this week, but hopefully in the near future. Whenever I'm ready :3
