Some background: Since I was about12 I've known I was attacted to both females and male. I came out as a bisexual when I was 13. I'm 24 now, and in the past 5 or so years ive come to lean more towards females. My story: I've been dating this guy on and off for 9 years. We spent 3 yrs together from the time I was 15-18. I broke up with him to be with a female and was convinced I was a lesbian. But just over a year later I somehow found myself back with him and we have been back together for almost 5 yrs. I do love him very much and I could picture spending the rest of my life with him... except for the fact that I am always thinking about girls. He even tells me sometimes that he made a lesbian fall in love with him. If I werent with him I wouldnt even consider dating a guy. So my confusion: Am i bisexual or a lesbian? Is it possible to fall in love with a guy if your a lesbian? And is it immoral to be with him? Is it fair to him and myself? Im just so confused. I dont want to break anyone's heart including my own but lately I find myself questioning it more and more. If anyone has any advice at all it would be appreciated. Thank you
Hello :3 I understand completely what you're going through. Well, 9 years is a long time...I was off and on with my ex for two years. It was crazy. I found myself always thinking about girls, too. Allow yourself to feel what you need to feel. As far as his feelings go, they aren't your responsibility. He's going to feel what he's going to feel, no matter what you do. I think the 'I've made a lesbian fall in love with him' comment is a sign. Figuring out if you're bisexual or lesbian is something you're going to have to answer for yourself. Is it immoral to be with him? I don't think so. Do you love him? Awesome. See where it goes. Honestly question yourself, no matter what. I think it's totally possible for a lesbian to fall in love with a guy. Female sexuality is totally fluid (I think male sexuality is a little more "fixed", but I could be wrong about that). So, just be who you are. Allow yourself to feel whatever feelings you have, and don't bring yourself down. If you honestly feel that it's time to break things off with him and find a lady love, go for it. If you want things to work out with him, do that. Best wishes
Do you still love him? Do you still find him sexually and romantically attractive? Could you live your life with him at the exclusion of all women? Could you liken thinking about women with the fact that most straight people think about people other than their partners in a sexual/romantic sense but don't do anything about it? I'm guessing the 2 of you aren't open to "extras" in the bedroom? Would that satisfy your urges and impulses? Some relationships work really well this way. From what you've said, I'd only go so far at the moment to say that you're "not straight". Only you know how deep your feelings are. Peace (*hug*)
