OK So in the past year I have come out to my wife as a crossdresser, and she is also aware that when I present en femme that I am attracted to men. When I am living as a man I am most certainly attracted to women and very rarely to any man. I have been exploring this but honestly feel as though that there is no way for me to make a list and check boxes here! I know that sexuality is fluid but I could use a little advice/stories to help here. My wife and I cannot be intimate because I no longer feel engaged sexually with her. this is not to say that I don't feel "the tingle" when speaking to a woman I am attracted to. I can count on one hand the times I have felt this when presenting as a man towards another man. To be very clear: I am very comfortable as a man and when I see myself in the mirror I am happy with this. On special nights during the week however I get a ton of happiness/sexual excitement out of presenting as a woman. I think I may be bi...sexual? gendered? I have a therapist I trust and have been exploring this. I also have a friend (female) with whom I am out as described above. I know I will never understand from reading responses at a forum and that this is part of my journey but I feel like I am holding my wife hostage by not knowing. I have also found this forum to be a safe place with knowledgeable people reading/posting/responding and could use any comments here to help. thanks a million Ony
Maybe bigender or genderqueer. I don't know. Have you talked about how you feel with your wife? Good communication is essential in any relationship, it would be good, I think if she understood. Talking about it might even help you sort things out.
I do talk to her about it, she knows what I'm going through right now, what kills me is what it's doing to her (she started seeing a therapist thank god). I've put a lot of pressure on myself to figure this out with no success. I just don't want to waste her time (we are both 30). So here i am.
I don't have a lot of advice for you, but I think it's great that your wife is open enough to be able to talk to you about this. Communication is key, and if you tell her how you're feeling, it could be helpful to both of you.
