Trying to figure some things out: Gay or Bi; Sexual or Asexual

I recently came out to myself last year, and to a few really good friends this year. I identify as homosexual because that is my overall preference, I think, but, as I often reason on reflection, I can be attracted romantically and sexually to the right person, regardless of gender, and, hopefully, I will not be afraid to accept it when it happens.

Since middle school, I knew I probably leaned toward the homosexual side. Though it never went beyond personal fantasy, I fantasized about at least 1/5 of the guys around my age in my class. Same in high school and college. I dated girls, for the most part, even through college, and admittedly I did feel attracted to them at times, sexually fantasizing about them was more rare, but it happened. Regardless of gender, though, I have always been afraid of sex; I've fantasized about it, but when given the actual opportunity to do it (on 3 different occasions; 1 in high school, 2 in college; 3 different people; 1 male, 2 female), I turned the opportunities down out of fear, and was happier to just kiss and cuddle.

I've come to terms over that last several years that I am gay. Maybe not a 6 on the Kinsey Scale, but definitely somewhere between a 4 and a 5. What I am confused about is whether or not I may be asexual. I think the term gets misused or confused a lot, and I'm fairly new to gender and sexual orientation terms, so I'll be the first to admit ignorance here. However, being uncomfortable with sex is confusing. On the one hand, I see myself very attracted and having sexual desire with people, i.e.- I do find myself sexually attracted to specific people. However, if faced with the decision face-to-face, whether or not I wanted to have sex here and now, I'd probably say "no." I'm not sure how much of that is fear and ignorance, or how much of it is that's just who I am (i.e.- I don't want to have sex, and I'm just confused, giving the excuse of fear).

Is there a way to know for sure. I find it hard to date, as I have not "come out" publicly and therefore still have most of my friends and family awkwardly trying to hook me up with all their single female friends and coworkers. 25 seems to be the awkward age where everyone around you thinks you need to at least be dating, or in a relationship, or getting married, and, if you're not, you need help in that arena. Not that I don't find some women attractive at times, but I guess I just don't want to jump into any sort of dating or relationships without, at least generally knowing who I am, if that makes sense. Any advice here would be great! Thanks in advance!:help:

 

Thanks a lot for the information! Much appreciated! I think I'll just go with labeling myself as "gay" to people around me for now. Labels are confusing, and I think it'll just be one of those things that I figure out as I move forward. Again, thanks for the advice!