Hi all, I've been questioning my sexual orientation and was hoping you could give me your thoughts. I know I don't need to label myself, but being confused is really bothering me and I just want to know what I am. I liked boys from the time I was in elementary school, until the end of high school a couple of years ago. I started noticing girls when I was 12 but I don't know if I wanted to be them, or be with them. Now I like women and notice them everywhere, and I really don't think much of men, although I can tell when they're attractive. For the past couple of years I've known I'm attracted sexually and romantically to women, but I keep wondering if maybe these are just crushes and that maybe for some reason I just "want" to believe I'm gay. I feel like I would be happy identifying as a lesbian. But I'm wondering if I could be bisexual because I used to like guys and I was even interested in a guy a few months ago and thought of having sex with him, although my interest in him was short-lived. I had one or two strong interests in guys in high school, but my most intense feelings have been for another woman (my best friend who is straight), who I think I'm in love with right now. Developing feelings for my friends who are girls seems like a pattern for me. I feel sort of neutral about guys right now, not like my girl friends who want boyfriends. But I'm confused because I liked that one guy recently and liked guys all through school. I've never kissed a girl, I've kissed a few guys but it didn't feel too special like people say it is. I think I might be gay but I'm worried if I come out, I might develop a future interest in a guy and find out I'm not actually gay. Do I seem like a lesbian or does it seem like I could be bisexual? I appreciate any help and ideas you may have for me!
Hi It sounds like you could be bisexual because of your history of liking guys. I go through phases where I'm more interested in one sex than the other. But then again, considering your age liking boys could just be social expectations mixed with hormones. I've always heard about people going through gay phases at school and growing out of it - why not a straight phase? The fact that your strongest feelings are for girls, does hint that you are at least bisexual, probably with a preference for women (at the moment at least). If it makes you feel any better, most of my crushes - gender irrelevant - have been short lived So it might not mean any thing. And I can't comment on the not-too-special kissing experiences as mine was the same with a guy...but I'm pretty sure I like guys so maybe it's just whether you like them enough? Although the reason for not liking enough, I don't know - could be that you're gay, could be that he just wasn't the right guy. Anyone else got thoughts on this?? Also, just because you're a lesbian, doesn't mean you can never like men ever. I'm pretty sure plenty of straight girls have had crushes on girls, but still consider themselves straight. Identify how you feel comfortable - what is right for you.
I agree it sounds like your bisexual but like women more i go phases where I'm bi then back to being gay again it's a very confusing time
