I am 16 and still in the closet. Let me tell you some of my life background. When i was around 8 i kissed this girl and i loved it. I only dated a boy all my life and it was in elementary lol idk im the type who is like "i dont need boyfriends" and then middle school i was crushing on my teacher and this is sexually & emotionally. I still never payed mind to me being bisexual and gay. If someone asked me what my orientation was i said straight. I never had a emotionally connect or crush on guys i see some guys and think "hes fine" but then goes away its not the same with females where i actually crush on them for a while. Now i like this trainer at my gym i am head over heals for her and i havent talked to her for the fact what will i say if she ask me what my orientation is.. Or what if she hits on me infront of my family because they go to my gym too. What do you think my orientation is so far from reading this? I feel like coming out as gay.. But then im like what if im bi.. And its stupid because now im questioning if i like guys when all my life i never paid attention to them. I think im trying to be denial in me being gay and forcing to like males because of not fully accepting who i am. What do you think? Would help alot!!!
Well, there's a big difference between knowing you're gay and accepting you're gay. I went through a period when the signs that I'm attracted to women were yelling at me GAY, GAY, GAY! but I kept looking for the signs that would tell me I'm straight anyway. I was even seriously thinking that I just fake that attraction to women for idk whatever reason. I can't tell you why I did that but the mind is obviously a funny thing. I can recognize when a guy is good looking but I feel no noticeable attraction to men, I don't have any fantasies about men and I can imagine myself, both sexually and romantically, only with a woman, I know I'm gay, but still from time to time I have days when I doubt myself. It may seem stupid but having doubts is obviously a big part of the process.
I get you, yes my brain does play with me how you are describing. And you may not know how helpful your comment was to me. Or how helpful this website was because i know what i am now and i have go start fully accepting that i am gay. Thank you so much
