Hello there, (thank the heavens i found this forum...) I'm quite unsure and really confused about my sexual orientation (I'm currently in university by the way if that helps do anything). I've never really put much thought into it before but lately I have. I think I am bi, or gay and have no doubts at all that I'm not straight. I find both genders attractive. I've only had one girlfriend, who cheated on me and made me really angry and annoyed - but we never had sex. It was a really quick relationship that only lasted a month-2month or so I don't really consider that to be the real experience of a relationship. After that I think I fell in love with this girl but before I did anything (I got close with her over around a year period) she was asked out by another guy (which she said yes to) which made me devastated for a few days. It made me feel really heavy. Lately, I've tried watching gay porn and I find it arousing, but I'm also aroused by heterosexual porn - but not to the extent of gay porn. I have no objections to straight sex but have doubts on gay sex. But I find sex in general to be something that's quite scary. I find that male chests and female breasts turn me on while the genital areas don't do too much. On the street I think I look at both genders - however, I think I tend to look at guys more than girls probably 7/10 times. So this is my dilemma at the moment. I'm thinking that I am a bi that leans more towards the gay side of the spectrum. Sorry about the wall of text and thank you for reading.
The best advice I can give is to go easy on yourself and be patient with yourself. It takes time to figure out your sexuality and it may be fluid for awhile before you feel comfortable with defining your sexuality. You may be just what you mentioned; A Bi man who is mostly attracted to men but still find women attractive. You may be Gay but are just going through the process of unraveling the social conditioning that told you you should be only attracted to women. Sex is scary, it's a very powerful force and the social pressure to be nonchalant about it when you're a young is unbearable sometimes. You may be a late bloomer or you may find that penetrative sex is not your thing. It may not be your thing until you meet the right person. We all have a vast array of different desires but we're told we should all share the same one's and I think that this is just as destructive as being told we should only be attracted to the opposite sex. You said you were at Uni? If it is progressive there must be a LGBTQ type of alliance there. If there is, have you talked to some of its members? I hope this helps somewhat.
I agree with Seeingclearly. It seems like you prefer guys overall. Also, do you find lesbian porn arousing? Or hetero porn with an ugly guy and hot woman? Because you may just be looking at the guys in straight porn.
