So I have a friend who I'll refer to as J and we've been close friends for awhile. The relationship I have with him is that of like a close friend where we can delve into deep discussion rather than focus on superficial subjects all the time. What has often puzzled me though is that within the past year he would state how he wished he was gay since he gets along with men and wouldn't have to struggle in romancing women. The reason he isn't gay though is that "he doesn't like dick"(his words). For awhile I pretty much chalked it up to him being comfortable in his sexuality. It's become a bit awkward for me recently when J would thank me for helping him out with something and his response "dude you're so awesome I could so suck you off now but I don't like dick". To start, he definitely does like women because he would go on monologues about the crushes that he has, also he is very awkward when it comes to social cues so maybe that's why he says weird things. Another example of a questionable statement is that with his close friends he would mention what he did during the day but yet at times include that he had a jackoff session. I know that can be a joke but one time when he was leaving my house he said he was off to smoke(he's a stoner so maybe this is a factor) then jackoff and to not worry "because I won't be thinking of you when I'm masturbating" , I never was even worried or thinking of that in the first place. Now I identify myself as bi with a preference towards women(he doesn't know I'm bi), I'm not attracted to him at all but it kind of makes me confused when he says something like that. I think it's a bit funny that he would bring up the idea of wanting to be gay but he couldn't since he doesn't like the idea of having sex with a man, yet he shares this wish of his like at least 3 times a month(maybe he has memory loss cause he's usually high :lol. He fully supports lgbt rights(many of his friends are gay) but isn't too comfortable with gay sex since he made a joke that his political position is that gay couples should be able to protect their weed and porn with guns, as long as it's straight porn because gay porn is too gay(no shit:eusa_doh. Anyway, I'm curious if he seems a little confused going by this description, cause none of the other straight men I know think like he does. Could there be something suspicious here? Thanks for your contributions and sorry for the essay
Could be a lot of things. Could be he has a finely calibrated gaydar (or bi-dar?) and is trying to give you the opportunity to be open about your orientation. He could be heterosexual but biromantic or homoromantic (simplest explanation is someone who emotionally falls for men but has a body/brain that is still wired to react sexually to women). Some of his comments could just be things he picked up from his gay friends and thinks it's cool or shocking or amusing to use them. I don't know what the rest of your respective situations are, but if he's a good friend you might want at some point to let him know you're also into guys and these types of comments leave you a bit puzzled... Oh and don't apologize for the length of your post, it's easier to comment when there's more details than a post that only says "My friend has a Lady Gaga song on his iPhone and has a pink polo shirt, please tell me if he's gay and in love with me" .
