I've been so sure for years that I am pansexual, but I'm afraid I've been lying to myself ... and am still lying to myself. I don't know what to do, who to turn to ... I've mostly dated men, all of which have ended either with me being abused, or just things falling apart in general. After about six months in, the dynamic changes, and I end up feeling like I'm dating my brother or something. I find men handsome, but I'm not sure if I find them sexually attractive. I'm so conflicted. I feel like maybe I keep trying to date men because that's what's expected of me, but it always feels so forced. Even penetration isn't that awesome, I think, but I pretend ... make the noises, fake the orgasms, and really just feel like a piece of dirt at the end of the day. I miss women, a lot. I miss .... so many things about them. I'm entirely beside myself on this here. I've told nobody that this is how I feel. I'm scared.
Dear friend Don't feel scared here. Right now your problem is mine. Find men and women attractive can also be known as bisexual, which what I would classify you as. However with bisexuality a person can lean one way or another. If eventually you find men more attractive then you know you gay or not. If there is anything you need, if it is in my power name it and I will do everything I can to help.
I'm not sure I feel I'm bisexual, as I'm struggling with being pansexual, and the fact I'm overall questioning my attraction (or lack thereof) to men altogether. God damn this whole thing is making my head spin.
So you find men handsome, like aesthetically pleasing? But not sexually attractive? I feel similar. In my opinion, what's most important is with whom you can connect emotionally. But I don't know. I can't even figure out myself.
The only advice I can give is that you should try to stop worrying about it if you can, and just date people you're really sure you like. If you're not sure, it probably isn't worth it.
May I point out the "cthuluh" in your name? Lovecraft fan yes? great writer. Sexuality is confusing, i think we all know this by now.You dated men, why did you date them? were they bad guys in good guy masks? What happened during those six months? something had to cause that sudden change in perspective. As for as sexual attraction goes, with my studies I have concluded the differences in men and women when it comes to that. For you, sexual attraction ranges among many things, not just the body and looks, It's much deeper than that. You like women, so think about the qualities and traits you like in the ideal girlfriend you have (if you have an ideal girlfriend) and think would you like the same thing in a guy. Maybe that my help you sort out your feelings, i am not an expert but a student. Think about what you like, and what you want, not about what they want, sex in my opinion should come naturally and out of feelings for one another, despite my addiction to porn (quite fascinating). Don't date anyone because you feel It's expected, but because you genuinely like them for more than a friend. And if things go well, then think about how you would feel engaging in sex with them down the road. Sexual orientation to me is about who you rather have sex with, not about who you actually want to date, who you rather be with as a soul mate, is romantic orientation (makes more sense), because many people can have sex with one gender, but are only romantically attracted to another gender which is a rock in a hard place. So do you prefer to have sex with women solely or want to? then your sexual orientation would be lesbian. As for as romantic orientation, you might be homoromantic if you prefer to just date women now. But you don't seem sure so just take the time and think about what i said.
