So I just thought I'd get some input cause I find it really hard being bi sometimes. Usually this is the way my life goes; I wake up get my kids ready for school then go home and think about a girl friend, how we can spend our time together, holding hands, shopping, watching tv, etc - how I so want that. Then I get a text from my husband, I get all happy, warm and fuzzy, think about him and our future for a bit. Get busy with the baby, thoughts of being in a relationship with a woman are in my head... Then I go outside and start interacting with people and checking out guys and having sexual thoughts about them. Thoughts of being with another woman sort of take the back burner. I'm in mom mode and planning mode so my feelings for men go in overdrive. Husband comes home, we interact, I want to be intimate with him, nothing else matters. Until, I stay at home with my husband and work and no other men around. I'm back to thinking about women and how much I crave a relationship with one. I rarely have sexual thoughts about women, this is pure emotional and it's really strong... And probably getting stronger cause I'm ignoring it. I've been in relationships with both men and women and find that I lean a bit more to women emotionally and men sexually. I really don't want an open relationship or a polygamous one. I wish I could just have a sustainable relationship with one person. Also, when my feelings for women get really strong, I will sometimes lose my attraction to men which sucks and I go kind of obsessed. Can anyone relate to this? :help:
Wow, I can relate to this a lot. I'm married and I'm always finding myself attracted to other women, checking them out in public, fantasizing about romance and sex with them, etc. I can even relate to the part about getting obsessed, there's times when it's all I can think about. The only part I can't relate to is being attracted to, or thinking of other men... the only man I'm attracted to is my husband. I still love my husband dearly and want to continue to be with him, however I have a very strong attraction to women as well. Luckily my husband is actually supportive of me being with another woman. I haven't had a relationship with a woman that's worked out yet, though. I hope that changes.
Thanks for your reply. Yup, I'm a bit ashamed that I'm attracted to/find other men attractive - won't act on that though cause I love my husband more. It's the feelings for other women that I'm worried about. It's just that this feeling is getting so strong. When I was with women before, I left all relationships because the sexual attraction was not there. I hate bouncing around like this. ---------- Post added 23rd Jun 2014 at 07:18 PM ---------- And I remember when I was with women I'd have days where I'd be completely uninterested in them and the more they wanted to be close, the more I'd pull away and I'd just feel nothing at all for them and feel horrible. God, this sucks. I must be messed up.
Oh hell yes. My attractions seem to flutter about quite a bit. Looking at men. Looking at women. Depends on who I'm with and who's around and what mood I'm in and what phase the moon is in and whether there are sunspots and the State of the Union and how many days it's been since I last had popcorn, and probably a few other factors. Frankly I just enjoy the ride and try not to obsess. If I'm not into sex with a woman at the moment, I don't have sex in that moment...I know such moments will return. I don't love increasingly wanting sex with men when I'm in a monogamous relationship with a woman...but I don't mind appreciating their looks or fantasizing about them. I don't think you're messed up...you're just a bisexual human. And I suspect that partnered non-bisexuals have just as many thoughts about other possible lovers as you and I do...they're just all about one sex or the other, rather than getting the fluctuations. I think you need to give yourself a break and focus on accepting that you are who you are, you find the people attractive that you find attractive, and you want what you want. Your wants and desires are no less valid than your husband's, for instance. Tell me honestly that he never fantasizes about other women, and doesn't experience exactly what you describe, just with women only...if he tells you otherwise, I don't believe him.
Thanks, I'm glad that someone understands. I'm just a bit worried about this intense feeling to be with a woman, it's all I can think about when I'm alone and the urge is so intense, I've never felt anything like it. Its like the attraction to my husband is a magnet but this is like a vortex.
