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confused and looking for an opinion

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by miso, Jun 23, 2014.

  1. miso

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Questioning
    Alright guys, here is the scoop. I am 19 years old girl and in college and I have been debating about my sexuality for years now and I just really wanna get another opinion on what other's my think my sexuality is. I know a lot of you are probably think don't label yourself, but I'm the kinda of person who needs a solid foundation. Anyway, here we go XD

    Ever since I can remember, I have never seen a guy and thought, "Dam, he's hot!" I just don't care about them. I started noticing that in sophmore year of high school, I really thought girls were cute. At first I thought, maybe its just her clothes I like, or the way they do there hair, but when I would go up to try to talk to them, I would get SOOO nervous trying to talk to girls. I never had this problem with guys, but when i (try) talk to girls, i just really feel like i need to impress them.

    That continued for a few years until Senior year when this guy asked me out. This was the first time in my life that I was ever asked out, so I went for it. We went out for a while, but I kinda found that we would talk about other girls and how cute they were rather than just dote on each other. We kissed a few times, but I only felt "electricity" on the first kiss and then from there I really didn't want to kiss anymore or be around him.
    Eventually that ended after a month because I was just MISERABLE. I did not want to see him, hug him, kiss him. Of course, I felt bad because he was a nice guy.

    I watched porn a few times and I found that the only thing that "does it" for me is the girlxgirl stuff. I think a lot about what it would be like to be in a relationship with a girl, but i've never really had the guts to act on it because in the back of my mind, I've always thought, "this is just a phase, you can't be sure of anything at 19"

    I shared a room with my best friend for a while freshman year of college and developed a huge crush on her. I would even have dreams of us making out and wake up automatically think "I wish that was real." When ever I meet someone else who thinks they are gay, I get really excited!

    Now that I read what I wrote, it looks pretty obvious that I'm probably gay... But i just do not feel convinced that I am.. I just feel like I am gonna wake up and be like, "remember those 6 years where i thought i was gay, gooooooood times~"... I don't know, lemme know what you guys think, I'll take any comment!
     
  2. thelamekidd

    Regular Member

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    As a gay girl, I also think the same thing, "Wow, I can't believe I thought I was gay." that's mostly likely denial, or the feeling of paranoia that you might fall for a man, and be confused again. Don't let that get in the way. You fall for whoever you fall in love with. In my opinion, you fall more on the gay side, but only you can be sure.