hey, basically im lost and confused. im 21 now and before i used to like girls, then i liked boys now i dont like anyone. i dont get aroused when i see girls or boys, i really dont know whats happening. sometimes i develop stuff out of friendship which is totally useless because either its same sex and the other person its not into same sex relationships or just plain friend zone. i try to be with girls but they dont attract me and i try to be with boys and its the same. im not desperate but rather confused as to where my sexuality is going. is this normal? what am i? what am i looking for? am i ever going to feel attracted to either sex? please help. thanks
Hi fresh26, I think I'm in a similar position as you are. I'm bisexual, I'm not out to anyone, and I'm just exploring my feelings for both sexes. I've always loved girls, and have only dated girls in my life, never a boy. But have had the sexual attraction to guys for a while. I can't really give you romantic relationship advice for guys or girls because I've never been with a guy, and my relationships with girls have been short lived to say the least. I think, especially for our age group, attraction ebbs and flows. We may have it for one sex one day, and the other the next. Or we may have nothing to attract us at all. There are so many different situations we all have been in, or are in, that it may just seem alien to us and like something is wrong with who we are. I'm telling you that you're perfectly sane. I use to have immense attraction to girls for the chase and the romance, while having sexual attraction to guys I've never acted on. I've never really lost my sexual urges towards guys over the years, but to girls, it becomes such a hassle I quit on my feelings for them. I like them, I just don't feel anything for girls. A numbness if you will. And for guys emotionally, I feel numb as well, like I don't know what I'm doing or saying, but the passion remains. It's weird to be honest, but true. You can like girls, guys, both, or be asexual and not like sex or either gender differently at all. And there are a lot of asexual people out there who live life perfectly normal. I don't think I've been extremely helpful to you, but all I can say is you're certainly not the only guy who is confused. I am too, I feel you man.
Attraction is pretty complex. Are we talking just sexual or romantic? What about real people vs fantasy? Personally I'm romantically attracted to both genders, but sometimes find my sexual attraction hit and miss. I agree with Captain66 that our age group does have ebb and flow of attraction. I think it all comes in it's own time. I'm afraid I can't give any concrete answers, but I do know what it feels like.
