So recently i've been going through lots of self discovery and have come to the conclusion I'm trans, and that was fine, my sexuality hasn't been a big deal to me, I don't like to use labels when it comes to my own sexuality because it's just a giant cluster fu-k of "what?" But I came out to my partner as trans after thinking I was genderfluid for a year, and once I accepted the trans label my dysphoria went down so much, and I could do normal things again without worrying too much about my body, because I know later on in life I can transition with supportive people (money situation doesn't let me yet and I still present female due to lack of masculine clothing and money to gain some) Whilst I wasn't sure on my gender, I couldn't have sex with my partner, I'm normally a very sexual person, but it made me feel dysphoric and wrong. Then it came back, but it's a lot more dulled down, I can still have sex with the partner, I enjoy the sensations and experience of foreplay, but the actual sex... I just, I don't enjoy it as much as I did, it feels wrong, and my interest in the foreplay is slowly decreasing. My partner is cool with me not wanting to have sex, and we had a conversation after I was scared to say no (abusive ex's and things) and they told me I can say no at any time. So this leaves me wondering, am I asexual? I don't mind sex to please my partner, but I don't really get that much out of it, however I do enjoy masturbation and the climax it (and my partner) can bring me. Any advice?
Maybe you aren't asexual but your dysphoria make you feel uninterested in sex pleasure. This doesn't mean you're asexual. You don't want to feel dysphoric, so you prefer not to feel sex pleasure. Right? Don't worry, it's common among trans* folks.
Hi, itsAli, welcome to EC. I don't think you're necessarily asexual but dysphoria can surely affect one's sex life. There are many transmen who avoid being touched on their genitals for example. You said that sex feels wrong. Could you describe what concretely feels wrong? Is it something specific what you do to your partner or something your partner does to you? Is your partner female or male bodied? Maybe you could try different kind of sex. Anal for example. Or have you ever used a strap-on? You can try to experiment and find out if there's something that would feel good. P.S. Next time, please, post in the Gender Identity and Expression section in order to get more replies. :icon_wink
My partner is male bodied, and just having him inside *there* feels odd, because it feels like I should have one of those and not what I have, clitoral stimulation is what gets me going, but I hate penetration, when they're on top it's not *too* bad, however when I am I just feel so odd I've used a vibrator on them before and they loved it, so I may continue doing that, I would try receiving anal however, they're rather well endowed so I'm scared
I personally thought I was asexual at first because dysphoria prevented me from feeling sexual attraction to others. Now, I know that it's possible for me to feel it. Maybe if you try to talk it out with your partner, they could help you. You certainly shouldn't have to do something that makes you uncomfortable with yourself.
I also thought I was asexual because of dysphoria. I repressed all my sexual feelings for about a year until I realized I was trans. Of course it is still possible to be trans and asexual
OK, that's what I thought and it's quite understandable that you hate penetration. I think you could give anal a try. It may seem scary at first but it's not like you take it in at once. You can start with just one finger, a small butt plug or a dildo and see how it feels and eventually go for more. I'm not an expert myself but there are many good threads about anal sex here on the forum. Or you may even consider to use a strap on your partner.
