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23yo and still unsure

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by coffeeplease, Jun 25, 2014.

  1. coffeeplease

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    Hey guys,

    I'm so horribly confused as to whether I am bisexual or lesbian or what... I know that labels aren't necessary for everyone but I feel that it would really help me establish who I am.

    It feels like no matter what relationship I am in, whether it be with a woman or a man, I am not quite satisfied sexually or emotionally. Women and men offer me different things and currently I am in a relationship with a man and very secure and happy...and yet, I miss sex with women and constantly think about it. This is not to say I don't enjoy the sex I have in my current relationship. I often watch lesbian porn (more than anything else) and then feel horribly guilty, like I'm trying to hide a part of me that wants out. I feel guilty because I *am* happy in my relationship, I just have this continual sense of longing.

    Does being bisexual mean there will always be those lingering wishes for the opposite sex of your partner? Every time I am in a relationship I am committed and loyal but the feelings are always there. When I am in a relationship with a man, I miss my past girlfriend and when I am in a relationship with a woman, I miss my past boyfriend. It's so very confusing and I feel like a terrible person.

    Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!!
     
  2. peonie

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    I think you should listen to your longings.

    Although you say you're happy with your relationship, if you're longing for something else then maybe that's enough to say that there's something lacking in your current relationship.

    Maybe talk to your partner and see how he feels. Would you both be open to shaking things up a bit?... If you know what I mean? :slight_smile:
     
  3. coffeeplease

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    I think he would be horrified if I said anything. And yeh! I do know what you mean but I know that I am (as he is) incredibly monogamous. If I said something to him I have a feeling he would be deeply hurt and it would be the catalyst to a break up.