I'm bisexual and have known since I can remember that I liked girls. For a while growing up I thought I was gay because I was not attracted to males until my mid teenage years. Fast forward to now. I'm a 24 year old woman who has found myself on a few occasions feeling differently towards certain woman. It's hard to explain. With men, either I want to fuck them, or I don't. If I want to have a relationship with a man, I don't think about courting him. I think about the first couple awkward dates, fucking, and then bam, long-term relationship if you both feel like giving it a try. With trying to start long-term relationships with women I tend to go about it more slowly. I like to court. Be romantic. Chivalarious activities. All of that kind of stuff, but also I am still thinking about how it all leads up to intercourse. On a few occasions, I have found myself wanting to court women with no intentions of sex. I find myself almost wanting to be friends, but also doing all of the romantic things I would do if I were trying to date the girl. Specifically, there's a girl I work with right now. I'm almost 100% sure she's straight. But I keep imagining myself finding ways to make her look at me and smile. I picture myself helping her get her coat on, walking her safety to her car, buying her flowers. The most I think of her sexually is maybe kissing and holding hands. I don't want to sleep with this woman. Yet at the same time, I can't get enough of her presence. It doesn't make sense to me. If you invest time and money on a person, either they're a friend or you want to sleep with them. In this case, and a couple others in the past, I don't. Can anyone else relate to this? I'm hoping it's some kind of innocent crush. I am not looking to weird her out and put her in a spot that may make her uncomfortable either. I've never hit on a girl who I wasn't sure was gay and I hope she doesn't find me as weird as I feel around her. She seems to like me and makes an effort in getting to know me. Sorry if this is the dumbest thread ever. I don't have any gay friends I can reach out to
Hi! I wouldn't say lust since you indicated that you have no sexual desires at all. Maybe you feel an admiration or an aesthetic attraction which creates you all these protective feelings for this woman. I have been there a couple of times! I liked to be with them, taking care of them etc. but I had no intention of anything sexual. I just liked their companion, admired them and that's why I became friends with them. All the feelings you described might be the way you show your affection/appreciation of their presence in your life. It's nice to meet people who inspire us to show the best of ourselves!
Oh yes, I understand. I love a woman's presence and the connection I have with them. I can get knocked off my feet and fall in love with a woman and picture a life with one... But, I just can't forget men. The lust I have for them is hard to ignore. I don't care for sex with women. I could do it, but it's more to do with being close with her, I'm never turned on, unless I think of being with a man. I have no advice, but just wanted to let you know that you are not alone.
