The struggles of being bisexual.

There are these stereotypes that female bisexuals are greedy straight sluts who simply do girls to impress straight guys, and that male bisexuals are partially closeted homosexuals. And like you've said, I've even met biphobic people in the LGBT community. I don't know what else to say other than hang in there and don't let those people get you down. You just have to find the people who can see through the stupid stereotypes or realize that you have the right to change your mind about your orientation and support you for who you are. You don't owe it to anyone to prove your bisexuality either. If the remainder of your relationships happen to be with solely girls or guys, it doesn't change your orientation, and you should point that out to people.

 

I imagine it must be also very difficult for a man being bisexual considering the fact that lots or arseholes have this homophobic, macho attitude like "Dude, you're not a real man if you like dick too" and shit. I mean, I've heard of it existing.

Hang on in there, we exist pretty much all over the place and we're the ones who can break stereotypes the most. People often judge because they're ignorant and they don't understand and I think one of the best ways to educate them is by being ourselves.

It is indeed sad that a part of the community tends to be biphobic, I mean, sexuality is such a fluid concept, isn't it ironic for let's say gay person to perceive it through such extreme binaries as in "you're either straight or you're gay, there is no in between", I don't know what to say about that case honestly.

 

Hey you can talk to me, I am probably bi as well, although I am only interested in guys at present - I won't explain why, too complex not to mention painful. Plus a lot of other folks here will be happy to talk, of course...

When I told my sister I was bi, she said "actually, bi's are often disliked & mistrusted even amongst the gay community" (gee, thanks alot, sis, just what I needed to hear today), and that disheartened me somewhat. I thought, "finally I might actually find I belong somewhere, and now I get told this...am I in for more 'not truly fitting in anywhere?'" (Which has been a pattern of my life...) But we need to be honest with ourselves. If we have bi orientation, good to just accept that. To thine own self be true...

But you are certainly not alone! Lots of folks are bi. And I actually think it feels really liberating to know that about oneself. Don't worry if even some lgbt folk are a bit small-minded about it, and look down on you for being bi. If we want acceptance from others, we should give it to others, and they should reflect on this before being narky with you. Anyway, I am 100% sure you will find acceptance here at ec! (*hug*)

kind regards
Damien

 

Personally, I love it.

It's like Russian roulette, you never know when you'll get a BANG.

Man, that was terribly cheesy... but the point still stands. I enjoy my bisexuality, because it means my dating pool is a little larger, and I can find attractiveness in anything; deeper, too, than most.

Even though there does appear to be a biphobia, it is understandable. A lot of individuals who take the bisexual label, do tend to abuse it, and even make it difficult for those struggling, and fighting, to validate their own sexualities. It's just part of the deal, I guess, of taking the idiots with the genuine.

 

Yes, it was so freeing to allow myself to not only see the beauty in women, but in men also...the first week or two, it felt like a spiritual experience for me, the revelation of the beauty of the male form, in addition to still being able to appreciate the beauty of the female. Awesome way to live.

 

I think a good idea would be to search for and attend a Bi meetup group if you have one in your area and spend some time with other Bi people for a little while. There is nothing more liberating to the coming out process than to have a group of like-minded people who make you feel comfortable in your skin. You may find that the confidence that the meetups bolster in you could translate into enough confidence to care very little about what people think who want to bring you down because they themselves are unhappy or ignorant.

If you carry yourself with that pride and confidence in yourself other people will less likely attempt to shake it. It's when people sense a vulnerability that they try to take advantage of it.

Since I have come out (and I partially did it through the meetup process) I have been elated, purely and simply elated. I love that my attraction to people is not defined by gender, it's just people. How awesome is that? How freeing is that? Be proud of your beautiful Bi self! Ok, that last bit was OTT but f*** it, it's how I feel!

 

When I came out as Bi, my otherwise loving and amazing mother told me that she'd rather want me to be gay, as she could understand that, but not being attracted to both sexes. One of my oldest friends disgarded me and gave me a nickname as "Gay-MyName" since there was another person in his social-life with the same name.
My girlfriend knew about my sexuality when we got together five years ago but had trust issues because of it (and her own insecurity) and sometimes still do. One of my two best friends (who I mention further down in the text) boyfriend absolutely hates me because I'm bisexual. Just a side-note, my mother fully supports me nowdays and is proud like a mother-hen!

I also had (and still have) the most amazing and supportive friends, one who a couple of years later came out as bi (known his for almost all my life, took me by surprise).

I pulled through because of the good friends that were left. The rest doesn't matter and are not worth our time.

I also had the luxury of meeting a bisexual dude, which I dated for a short time and later on became best of friends. Him beeing there for me has meant a lot.

Try to find openminded persons and/or another bisexual (preferrably a male since the prejudice differs a little between sexes) to talk to and feel comfortable with! That's the best cure.
Homosexual persons still struggle, so it's gonna take a while longer until we are accepted

 

Indeed it is! a blessing, I should say!

This site is amazing, so when you are feeling down for being bi, there's a lot of bi-people here to share stories and happy feelings!

 

I happen to like being bisexual, even though in my experience gay men have been more oppressive to me than straight people.

 

I'm glad you feel happy and free :icon_bigg
you don't meet many bisexual people that feel that way about themselves

 

I know how it feels - Realizing I was bi was made so much harder because I was always told that you could only be attracted to one gender and all the stigma made me want to try and be one or the other - But I realized that I just couldn't. Then, if I would ever come out as bi to any of the religious people around me, they would tell me to just date the opposite sex and ignore my same gender attractions when I know I can't do that. I think the most qualms I have about being bisexual though are because of yes, the fact that people in the LGBTQ community also discriminate against you sometimes. I don't have to worry about this now because I already have a gf, but the fact that I could lose my dream girl (again, if I wasn't dating Jazzy) because I so called "had a d--k in my mouth" (which I would never do because I want to date asexual guys only) just crushes me. However, like a few others have said, I am getting more comfortable with being bi and sort of liking it. You just have to ignore the haters and be you. I know that's easier said than done, but there are more people even in the LGBTQ community fighting against biphobia, so one day it will all be gone and you won't have to worry! Let me know if you need more help, I'm here if you need. Always be proud of who you are(*hug*)

 

lol...how ironic. I only recently realized I am either bi or gay, but upon reflection, I don't think I will advertise my bi-ness when I hang out with lgbt folk in real life (which I have not as yet done), not at first anyway, to avoid any discrimination. I honestly didn't think I would need to even consider doing this...

damien

 

Hiya, I love being bisexual and try not to let the opinions or prejudices of other affect me. After I realized I was bi, and the initial period of shock and anxiety had worn off, I felt so liberated that I could finally be whole and express myself fully.

If you do encounter prejudice and biphobia, I think the trick is to sort out those who are doing it out of ignorance or misunderstanding stereotypes and those who do it just because they are a douche. For the former, I strive to educate them on the matter and change their attitude and opinion. For the latter, well suffice to say, they rue the day...

As a bisexual, I do think it is great to be able to have that special relationship with people with gender not being a factor in your choices, thus focusing on appreciation of the person that we fall in love with. That being said though, I don't think it always increases your chances of a date or the likelyhood of finding someone as we all still have specific preferences to they type of "people" that we are attracted too.

All I'd say, is be true to who you are and express yourself honestly without caring to much of the opinion of others. After all, it's your life and your love, and the validation and acceptance of others should not stand in the way of your happiness.

Happy days

 

Omg my struggle. Just cuz im bi doesnt mean im an extra huge manwhore. Yea we all might have a booty call every once in a while but i for the most part am celibate. Thats why i dont tell many people cuz they automatically judge you. Especially since i do party alot, but cuz i like to dance and have fun. Not look for ass at the club like the rest of whorlando.

---------- Post added 28th Jun 2014 at 04:40 AM ----------

And yea its kindof wierd not being "gay" enough for the gays to accept you. A good amount.of them i can say are raunchy judgemental whores anyways so dont pay attention to them.

 

I guess that's another struggle Bi people have to face, which I don't because I have told no one about it.

It's already hard and complicated enough being bisexual and really confused about which gender I am attracted to and in what way lol.