I find that I'm having some trouble defining my sexual orientation, partially because I get caught up in the labels, and worried that I don't "fit" any of them quite entirely. Or if I do, I haven't realized it fully, yet. I also worry that I may end up boxing myself into one label or another just for the sake of a quicker definition. Or that I might misunderstand or misrepresent myself. Like when I decided to allow myself to notice women, I'm trying to take a new approach, now, which is that in my mind I am "Storm-sexual," or "Me-Sexual" in that, if I'm attracted to someone that means I'm attracted to them. If I'm not, I'm not. Stop trying to categorize each feeling using someone else's terms, and make my own. I'm hoping that this kind of a definition will allow me to feel freer to just be myself rather than worrying about the implication of every attraction or nonattraction I have, and that the end result will be a clearer view of my sexuality, and where it falls on the predefined spectrum. Hopefully it'll eventually lead to a label I can share with others (either bisexual or gay). Right now I think going back and forth between the two is becoming too confusing and damaging to my ability to just "go with the flow" as I need to do to better understand myself. I think it's going to take a bit of work, but hopefully I'll get there. Just some things I wanted to share... I wonder if anyone else has taken a similar approach? And maybe it's a thought process others could consider, as well. Anything to add?
HECK. YES. I have caused myself waaay too much trouble thinking "Oh, I guess I'm gay today" or "Oh, I guess I'm straight today"
For my romantic orientation, yes. I either fall within biromantic, panromantic, or homoromantic labels, but if someone asks, I'll go with the homoromantic label. However, this is only for the sake of simplicity. It's much more complicated than that. So, I just use the "I'm just me" label for confusing stuff like that. It's also why I'm avoiding any romantics label in my orientation field. Haha.
I'm glad you understand. I know I'm definitely not straight. And I know that I prefer women pretty strongly to men. Going between bi and gay, though, I worry that I'm pushing myself in one direction or the other given the day, and using the labels in my mind only intensifies that. My feelings toward men are more muddled and unclear, so that's the biggest thing I need to sort out. So for now, "Storm-sexual. I like the ladies. I am less sure about the guys." That does sound quite confusing, especially with asexuality in the mix. I feel like romantic orientation can take longer to sort out, simply because a romantic connection can take longer to develop than a sexual attraction. It seems good that you're willing to just go with the flow.
It takes a while to figure it out for awhile I went labelless . I think people are often too much in a hurry to label themselves, go at your own pase enjoy life date who you want and if you want to put a label go ahead , if not there is nothing to rush for. I've seen some people figure out, their gay at age 40 some 50.
