I am an outwardly straight married female, with a HUGE crush on a female coworker. We've been working together for a year or so but she was just transferred to my department last month. Previously I didn't look at her twice but in the last three weeks or so I've gotten so she is all that I can think about. She too is married, but I just feel this connection. When we have conversations there is very veeeerrry prolonged eye contact. I have never had such intense eye contact with anyone before. . . We barely blink and neither looks away, even when another coworker joins in the conversation. Sometimes it seems that they are not even there!! She is very silly around me, almost giddy (we are both well into our thirties btw, and mature acting overall) and I find us having laughing fits over very little. She has told me she likes working with me and wants to go out for coffee. . . Then suggested going out for drinks. . . And then (please don't laugh at me for reading into this, but my "coolness" is non existent so I wouldn't know innuendo or a suggestive comment if it hit me across the face) but last week she announced that she "brought me a muffin". Which she had, and it was delicious. . . And I thanked her for her muffin. And there was a lot of talk all day about these muffins. I tend to think it was innocent and she might as well have brought me anything . . . A cookie, an apple, etc, but should I take anything out of the fact that there in a slang use for muffins? I have heard the usage but I don't know if it's commonly known or if I am being weird! And does anybody believe in getting a "bi" vibe from someone? If so how do you tell? Hints or tips? It would be different if she were actually a lesbian-I think I would know shameless flirting, which this is not. It's far more vague but I sense something, or I think that I do.
Oh totally! Maybe she's just a goofball, but it sounds like she's at least curious about you. Have you gone out for drinks? How does she act when she's away from the office? Ok now for the serious stuff. Are there conflicts of rank? Are either one of you working under the other? If not, there's no harm in flirting. Then there's the issue of you (both) being married. What's going on that you're crushing elsewhere? If you are thinking your marriage is going downhill, there are better ways to address it: maybe talk to your husband about ways to spice up your marriage or exploring an open marriage before you have an affair behind his back. Don't completely give up on finding your own happiness if what you're doing isn't working, but keep his feelings in mind.
Hi sailingirl, sorry, just came across your post. I am in the same boat and have been for the last 7 months. I recognise your descriptions so well. we have not discussed our feelings but, like you, there are too many things to ignore. The eye contact.....ignoring colleagues when they join the conversation...Im also married although my co worker is not. We have been out for dinner/drinks together but have not crossed any boundaries. We are completely professional which is so frustrating, but then, I am still married so I should be grateful. Has your situation progressed?
