So, here's a summary of how I would break down my sexuality, as of now: I'm physically attracted to men, but I don't really know if I would fall in love with a man. The male body is appealing to me, but the idea of anal sex isn't particularly appealing. I have almost no attraction to women. A woman that a straight man would consider hot would do nothing for me. Breasts are just kind of there, and the woman body isn't something that appeals to me. Straight sex doesn't really appeal to me. It doesn't gross me out or anything (like anal sex does), but it isn't really something I'd want to do. Big breasts, or a big butt on a woman wouldn't do anything for me. The idea of a same sex relationship just scares me. It would feel like a strange dream. There would be no female-male balance, if that makes any sense. I don't see myself going out with a girl, and I don't see myself having sex with a girl. I also don't really see myself dating a guy. It just weirds me out in a way. People who act like, super gay are the worst. They REALLY freak me out, and I definitely wouldn't want to go out with somebody like that. I think I would be able to cope well if a guy was gay, but didn't make it obvious, like at first, you'd think they're straight. I think that would work out really well. I'd use myself as an example. Nobody suspects that I'm gay, but I am (I think). Girls don't arouse me at all, but guys do. If I think about hot guys, I get aroused, but girls don't have that effect. This might seem really strange, but I really WANT to be gay. I don't want to be just another straight guy, if that makes any sense. It probably doesn't. I want to be different to others though.
It's helpful that you want to be gay, even if it's for the slightly eccentric desire to be different (I've felt the same in the past, though not about being gay; that was just one too many differences I had from others lol!) because the opposite desire is so damaging. You sound gay to me. The lack of interest in anal sex and the lack of interest in same sex relationships are pretty normal. The former may change, the latter should do: it is a result, I suppose, of unfamiliarity with the nature of that relationship. I still suffer from that as well, but the more time goes on, the more I see myself in a long term relationship with a guy....
Hey well done for posting here! I also started initially only being physically attracted to guys (with not real interest in girls) and, as I became more comfortable with that, I found it easier to imagine myself dating them. It's quite likely (although not certain at all!) that the same will happen to you as the idea becomes a little less weird. People acting camp was also off-putting for me and to an extent still is. You don't need to like it or fit that stereotype at all. I wouldn't want to go out with somebody very camp but it's also important to respect them. I also wanted to be gay which seemed strange to me too I think the main reason for me was that it answered a lot of questions I always had (especially having zero motivation to approach girls other than to fit other peoples' expectations,) but to an extent it was also down to wanting to fit into a different group of people and be different.
