Hello guys, I hope you are doing well So, something recently happened when my parents caught me crying after church - The pastor did complain about homosexuality, put it with drugs, prostitution, etc - And I told them that that I didn't like the pastor bringing up same sex love negatively all the time (I've been trying to get them to change their minds about homosexuality without mentioning my sexuality). However, then my dad asked me "When my interest in boys will come and when I'll get a boyfriend" - Although I'm still very much attracted to guys, I have a girlfriend now and I like her a lot and ever since then - And even before, after me and my dad would have arguments on homosexuality, every time I'd find myself having a little crush on a girl (like in the media or in the store, but nowadays it's after I get all warm and fuzzy inside when me and my gf are chatting), I'd get this bad pang in my stomach - This has been messing me up for a while now. It's like I feel like I've done something wrong... I've been able to ignore it, but now it's getting worse. What can I do about this? I hate feeling anxiety every time I'm talking to my girlfriend... I normally am okay with my sexuality, but religion is messing me up... Every time I think God accepts me for who I am, I have to be forced to church and hear the opposite... Every time I start to feel attraction for a girl, I end up thinking about what a pastor said or what my dad said and get anxious
I don't know what things are like down there, but could you try to find a church that aligns with your beliefs that doesn't condemn homosexuality? If a church like that exists, you wouldn't have to feel guilty about the way God made you. You were born with this love to give; turning that into anxiety rather than providing comfort seems like the last thing religion should do. Also, I would try googling some christian LGBT organizations and seeking support elsewhere.
No, I don't think so. I tried looking online, but there was nothing. I could look again, but even if I could find one, it would probably still be outside of our town and my parents aren't going to drive far away for church :/ Thank you so much for the comfort - I'm trying to ask my parents if I can just not go, but I'm still scared so when bringing it up to my dad the other day, I sort of beated around the bush and therefore didn't get an answer from him. I would ask them right out front but number one, if they ask the reason and I saw about how I don't like how gay people are being talked about in my church, they'd think I was gay and I DON'T want that to happen. Also, I know my mom would tell that I would have to go to church, in fact, she's been talking about us going to church more often than just Sundays >< I really don't know what to do, I would hate to leave church like this, as I've been there for most of my life, but I just don't think it's healthy for me to stay. The anxiety and the pangs have cooled down recently, but it's still there and just thinking about Sunday brings it out more
I get how you feel. I so much as look at a girl in a romantic way and I nearly have a panic attack. Faith has been a large part of my life for as long as I can remember, and with me coming to realize my sexuality, it's getting harder to reconcile the two. Just say some prayers for strength during mass and when it comes time for church. It might help. As for anxiety when talking to your girlfriend.... I've been there too (though with my ex boyfriend). Just tell her how you feel and try to breathe through it. You'll only get caught if you stress yourself out and you're not careful. You'll work through it, I have faith.
That's exactly what happens to me - And the minute I think that God accepts me for who I am, I go to church on Sunday, and boom, I go back to being insecure. I mean, I love God, but ever since I've questioned my sexuality, I've felt so far apart from Him... I think maybe I need to work on praying like you said, I haven't been lately because I feel like He isn't listening to me and won't until I get rid of my attraction for girls, which isn't really going to happen :/ Thank you so much for the advice though, I'll just continue to try and keep myself calm and hopefully can believe that God loves me despite who I love one day. I hope you can reconcile the two soon as well! Good luck, I believe in you! Thanks again for the support, it means a lot(*hug*)
