How do you tell the difference? This is something I've been struggling with on and off for the past few years, the past two in particular. I grew up in a somewhat conservative home and was pretty sheltered so I always assumed I was straight. When I went to college I never experimented (for lack of a better word) with my sexuality. I'm extremely introverted so only even ended up dating one guy (a bit embarrassing at my age I guess) and it was kind of a disaster and didn't last long. Lately more and more I'm wondering if I have feelings for my female roommate who is also my best friend but I'm not sure if what I'm feeling is platonic love between two friends or if I actually want a romantic relationship with her. I have thought about what it might be like to be with her (physically) but I don't know if that's just because I'm curious about my own sexuality.
I think that platonic and romantic love are very similar. Do you want to be around her all the time? Do you see her face when you close your eyes? Do you think about her constantly? In my experience, at least, these are pretty good signs that your feelings are more than friendly.
I have a friend who I grew up with and who has moved to China now, I have seen him twice in 7 years but I still love the guy as a friend, and consider him the closest friend I've had, and it's platonic. Some of the best memories I have were with this guy and I miss him but I don't think about him regularly, and my life goes on regardless. When I saw him a couple of years ago we had to share a bed and there was no sexual desire there at all. I had a girlfriend when I was a bit younger and when she moved away we broke up, for around 6 months afterwards she would always be on my mind, and after that it was still painful to think about her.. I've recently got over her, I think, 2 years after breaking up. I care greatly for both I see the former as being platonic, and the latter as romantic. I can feel a very distinct feeling towards the two people, one being of strong friendship and the other being of love/infatuation.
I agree with jahow95; I see platonic love as loving someone as a "friend" or family member or something while romantic love is having romantic feelings for the person.
My friend and I went for a few years without talking, not becuase of a falling out but because we're both terrible at keeping in touch with people. I would still think about her though but I feel that since we've been living together we've gotten a lot closer. I think part of the reason I'm confused is that when I was young I had a best friend who died. Because of that I think very highly of relationships between friends. And besides that I'm always on the look out for new friends but am horrible at making and keeping them. I think that may have something to do with why I'm so confused. I get jealous when my roommate hangs out with other people but I don't know if that means I have feelings for her or if I'm just a jealous friend.
This is my take on platonic love I love you as a brother or family and enjoy your company but I don't want to kiss, sleep with you or go on dates with you. You are just some one I like to hang out and spend time with but not some I'm in love with where I want to spend the rest of my life with or kiss and do sexual stuff with or wake up to. I hope this makes sense
I know myself that I envy some of my friends for having other friends but if I look deep inside I realize that it mainly makes me feel sad and lonely and sort of like a "loser" for not having many friends. I don't know if that's what you're experiencing though.. sometimes emotions are really hard to figure out.
Thanks for the responses. My big problem right now is that I over think everything. For nowthough I'm definitely not acting on any potential feelings because I don't eant to risk losing my best friend over what could very possibly be just a whim.