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Think I'm okay with my sexuality, but still having anxiety over it.

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by Minionluvsu, Jul 2, 2014.

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  1. Minionluvsu

    Minionluvsu
    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Plano TX
    Gender:
    Female
    I realize I'm bi. I know that I'm okay with it, but then again maybe I'm not okay with it so much as I know I can't change it. In any case, realizing that I'm not straight is giving me horrible anxiety.

    Like yesterday, as I was on my way to work, the realization of my circumstances (ie, homo- and biphobic, super religious parents that'll have a fit when they find out, possibility of losing their support when I've had it there almost all my life, no way to meet anyone here, figuring out where I now stand with the church, not to mention the fact that almost everything I do seems to be the wrong choice anymore :dry: ) overwhelmed me and I ended up having a panic attack between Macy's and my store (I work in the mall).

    And then someone came in last night who was either A: a MtF person or a cross dresser (they were in the shoe area and I was doing go-backs), and I was attracted to them, but it also scared me a great deal, because anyone I date or even hang out with, my parents have to meet. They'd have a fit if I brought her home. :bang:

    I'm really scared of myself, and how others are going to view me as I come to grips with my sexuality. How do I overcome this fear? Is there any way to by-pass my parents to live my life the way I want? I don't have my license yet (by my choice; I was in a bad car accident over a year ago and it caused me PTSD), and I know I can't change what I am and who I like, but I know that most of the people in my life (except for those who are not online) are gonna judge me and hate me for it. Any advice?
     
    #1 Minionluvsu, Jul 2, 2014
  2. wanderinggirl

    wanderinggirl
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    Aaahhh sexuality- (and gender?-)related anxiety is the worst.

    I don't know what your circumstances are with your parents so I can't tell you if there's a way to bypass them; it seems like maybe you should establish your independence before telling them. You're under no obligation to come out to them either until you're ready.

    As for other people, don't immediately assume that everyone will hate or judge you for who you are. It's best to start out slowly and build up support... and start phasing out friends who aren't important to you that you know are homophobic.

    There's probably a community in Dallas; look for meetup groups or an LGBT center in your area. Start there. There might even be a gay-friendly church in the city. In the unfortunate case of potentially losing your parents' support, it'll be extra important to have a support network you can turn to.
     
    #2 wanderinggirl, Jul 2, 2014
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