I've kind of settled into thinking I'm bisexual and accepting myself as such over the past few months but I'm still not entirely sure of things, I feel like it's possible I'll just identify as gay in the future... From what I've read on here two good indicators of your attractions are who you check out in public and who you have sexual fantasies about. On the first one, I check out a lot of people in public lol. And probably 100%, at least 95% anyway, are female. About sexual fantasies, I don't really have them much? Kinda because if I start fantasising about someone in particular, especially if I know them personally, my brain just shuts me off like "what the hell are you doing you're gross". So nothing much to guide me there. Based solely on who I check out, I could just call it a day and call myself a lesbian, but then there's crushes. I've had 10-15 crushes in my life and two of them were on girls. I have a long-term crush on a guy though. It almost feels like my attractions are principally for girls, with specific exceptions or something. I don't know. Sorry if this sounds rambly, I think I just needed to get this out somewhere, plus typing this probably helped sort my thoughts out a bit. (Sidenote: this kinda holds me back a bit from coming out to people irl, since to come out properly to them, I'd probably have to have a whole discussion about my exact feelings instead of just being able to say something closer to "*insert name here*, I'm bi/pan/gay/whatever", which isn't as easy to do. Plus might make people think I'm just confused and this might pass away soon. Whatever my exact orientation, really don't think being not straight is a phase for me )
Yeah, attraction is an odd thing. Saying you're bi (that's what I do) gives you a decent amount of breathing room, but I've seen a lot of people declaring themselves queer and calling it a day. As far as anything being a "phase", while I doubt you'll ever be entirely straight, you are young (being hypocritical, I'm only two years older), and I know that two years ago I never thought I would be anything but straight, even though I was already finding guys very cute. I hate to say "wait till you're older", but it can take a while to really figure things out.
Well a year and a half ago I'd still never had thoughts of being anything other than straight, though in hindsight I had a crush on a woman when I was 8. Then I found a certain girl attractive and it sent me on a long path to where I am today... but that's another story. Point is, things could be quite different in another 18 months time. I feel like maybe having relationships with whichever gender would help clarify, but for various reasons that's not likely to happen until I go to university, so a good couple of years off. I agree with you, partly I'll just have to wait and see what happens. Thanks for replying!
