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Gay? Bi? Weird?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by jennythebrave, Jul 3, 2014.

  1. jennythebrave

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    I am a 16 year old female who is in a 2 year long relationship with a boy. I have defined myself to those who asked as bisexual but recently it's really started to upset me thinking i may in fact be gay. I just don't know and i want less than anything to hurt my boyfriend, who is a wonderful person. In terms of arrousal i've never really been particularly attracted to the male form, much more so to the female and all the sexual connotations of which. I'm beginning to wonder if my feelings for my boyfriend are platonic love, and i need help.
     
  2. wolf of fire

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    While you have ruled sexual attraction do you feel romantically attracted to him?
     
  3. jennythebrave

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    Yes I do but i feel like other factors such as my confusion over sexuality are getting in the way of my ability to enjoy our relationship:frowning2:
     
  4. wolf of fire

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    I think as you are attracted to him it makes you bisexual.
     
  5. jennythebrave

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    Can a relationship work without sexual attraction?
     
  6. wolf of fire

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    I think it depends on the people in it, slightly personal question now is sex a large or important part of the relationship? If it isn't then no reason why it can't work out
     
  7. jennythebrave

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    No it isn't, but i feel bad that I'm not able to satisfy my boyfriend in that way fully. He says he loves me however and it's all fine, but i just feel like somethings missing, as sex is becoming less and less frequent
     
  8. wolf of fire

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    I know this is going to sound stupid but despite a lack of sexual attraction are you still able to enjoy the sex?
     
  9. jennythebrave

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    As a general rule i don't find any kind of penetration enjoyable (i don't know why) but i am able to enjoy the other things
     
  10. wolf of fire

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    Than you may be able to enjoy nontraditional sex in my totally unexperienced opinion you should try finding something you both enjoy and than do that instead.
     
  11. jennythebrave

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    Haha, I agree:') i think I'm just worrying over nothing cause I've been with him for so long and i feel kinda stuck... as someone who is attracted to females i would love to be able to experiment with that, but it makes me feel as though i'll never have the chance :')
     
  12. Damien

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    Hi jenny,

    I can understand wanting to be able to classify yourself in some way, but I would gently suggest that, it is more important to explore your feelings for a while, than to try to label yourself too soon. This is a journey that can take some time to fully unfold. I know from my own experience, that when I first began accepting that I could also feel same-sex attraction (and more to the point, actually allowing myself to feel it, at long last) - at the age of 45, earlier this year in fact! - I right away called myself, 'bisexual'. But now, I'm not so sure, because my desire to actually be with a woman seems to be, well, fading gradually...am i actually gay, then? - but truly, I don't know as yet, and so I have to be content with a 'maybe'. But that's ok, because there is no great hurry to accept a label or classification, those things can come later, when one has sorted things out a bit more, imo. The most important thing now, is to do what you are already doing - start talking about it, sharing how you feel, and maybe even letting yourself explore that part of yourself that is attracted to girls; however that exploration does not have to be physical, I mean, just keeping on getting in touch with your feelings etc. could be enough at this time, or just fantasy could be enough initially, considering that you are romantically involved with a guy at present and have expressed that you don't wish to hurt him. Anyway you've taken a good first step towards resolving all this, just imo there's no need to in too much of a hurry to 'define' yourself right away. Just connect, explore, express. In time you will find out what you need to know, don't worry.

    Damien. :slight_smile:
     
  13. wolf of fire

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    You might be able to, try talking to your boyfriend about it, it may mean having a relationship break which he may be okay with
     
  14. Damien

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    Jenny, you literally have your whole life ahead of you...you are going to have the chance, believe me! Although your bf is a nice guy etc, you are not married to him...just being realistic here, I mean, if it turns out your prefer girls sexually, it would make sense to eventually tell him about it. You don't have to rush into this, but I'm just saying...ultimately, it's your life to live, not anyone else's.
     
  15. prussianblue100

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    You sound bisexual with a preference for the ladies. That's just my opinion. Don't worry; it will come to you in time. Good luck. :slight_smile:
     
  16. jennythebrave

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    Thank you for your input, i truly appreciate it. I have even spoken to him about these things before and he is so wonderfully understanding about these things. He's had relationships with boys before and understands that i wish to explore my sexuality. I think i may just be a little selfish at the moment. One half of me wants to break it off when i go to university and explore myself completely and travel the world. The other half wants to stay with my boyfriend for as long as i can, for he is my best friend in all aspects. In truth i just don't know anything, but i suppose at 16, i am not expected to.
     
  17. lovely lesbian

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    First off your not weird if you were then we all would be kinda if that makes sense? Probably not to me you sound bi but like women more you say your boyfriend is understanding which is great so maybe you should explore your sexuality a bit more if you want too at some point. Thanx for the friend request by the way.
     
  18. jennythebrave

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    You're welcome:') thanks... I'd love to explore my sexuality, but i don't know how seeing as i'm in a relationship:/x
     
  19. wolf of fire

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    A relationship break may be possible and if I am brutally honest it is unlikely that a relationship between two teenagers will last forever.
     
  20. jennythebrave

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    I know what you mean, i know i sound like an idiot talking about it like that, and there isn't really any way i can word it that doesn't make me sound like a besotted 16 year old