Gay (Male) Body Types

You look like a human being. Most of these are stereotypical and a by-product of the porn industry. You look rather nice, you don't need fall in one of those categories for guys to like you.

 

I don't even understand the meaning of most of those terms. Urban dictionary here I come...

 

I think a lot of times people think that because there is a system of categories they have to fit themselves within one of the them--in this instance I think that just isn't the case. I've never really thought of myself as being one of those categories and I don't really ascribe them to others unless they self-identify as such. In my experience the way most of these categories actually come up in gay life is in jest--I wouldn't take it that seriously. As a caveat I will say I have never used a dating site nor a dating app and I suspect these categories may be taken more seriously there--I have however, been out and about for twenty years, dated extensively and been quite the bar fly and circuit queen for a while without these categories really coming into it.

As to the issue of looks they are going to be important to some men. And as far as the comparison with how straight guys looks are treated I think the fair comparison is to straight girls--I think there really is something to the old feminist phrase "the male gaze". Men (straight and gay) look for partners in a way that is slightly different, on average, than the way women do--and looks are perhaps, as a whole, more important in that calculation. But there are lots of exceptions both created by the looker and the lookie--for many guys it just isn't that important, for others it's on the list but so are a lot of other things, and some guys just have such overwhelmingly positive other traits that they make it not matter to people.

Back in my clubbing days there was a guy in our group who was short and fat--he wasn't a little chubby, he was fat. In a crowd I don't think he would turn anyone's head. But one on one--man, he was good. Dude just sparkled. He was outgoing and funny and kind--always said exactly the right thing. Everyone I knew could just listen to him for hours and in the end your sides would hurt from laughing and you felt better about yourself and him and the world. And guys just ate it up with a spoon. Ironically, looks were important to this friend of mine--and he scored big time in that department. We used to have a running joke about which underwear model he was with that week. Seriously, this guy dated the most stunning men. It was astonishing--but not at all really unexpected if you knew him.

Be yourself, be a good person--guys will want to be part of that.

 

The thing with the gay male sub-categories is that more people don't fit them than do.

I'd suggest using your differences to your advantage.
After all - the only difference between not fitting in and standing out in a crowd is your attitude.
There's nothing more boring than looking like everyone else.

If you're attracted to one of those "types" yourself, throw yourself into their bar/club/group/scene regardless of whether you meet their criteria. You'd have to be pretty unlucky to find a group that will kick you out because of the way you look.

Peace! (*hug*)

 

I am considered an "otter/cub" although i'm quite skinny, im also broad and meaty (i go gym) but im hairy.

Stereotypes do suck greatly, a lot of people see me and assume i'd just be a rough hardcore sex freak. But i'm really not lol.

 

Most people are in between "categories". It applies even for a standard body type classification, like ectomorph, mesomorph and endomorph. You can rarely find a pure ectomorph, or we can say a twink in gay classification. There is always a mix of body types in one man, and that's ok. You don't even need to think in which type do you fit. It's just a label and it doesn't say anything about you as a person, which is way more important.

In some way I am more of a straight man. ;D A man is either hot or not, which depends on your preferences. And it's not only a body type and face, more of a combination of personality and appearance. Personality plays the first role for a serious relationship. For one night stand it matters less. Depends on what are you looking for. And what is ideal body? There is no such a thing as perfect body, only personal preferences.

I can be classified as "twink" in the gay community in the West, but for an Asian dude I'm way taller than an average man (6 ft).

 

When I came out in January, I came out to a gay friend. One of the first things he said to me was that I was a "bear", a big ol' bear. I am, and it's a type I'm attracted to. In reseaching what it meant I came to the understanding that the "bear" community was a more accecpting community with regard to body image, age, etc. than what passes for the "ideal" male speciman. I'm a bear, but I'm also not a bear. I own no camo or Carhart. If I'm a bear, I'm the Polo bear...LOL.

However, I've found that through the gay men's chorus in town an even broader acceptance of people in general. I've met people who are leather and chains and others who are rhinestones and lace and everything in between. The label helped me get my feet wet in the gay community and the bear community,and as a group I do identify with them. I'm even a member of the Empire Bears, but they are not the extent of my friends or interests. Who someone is is much more important than how they're labeled. If you ever told me in January that one of my best friends would be a professional dancer with a glittering pedicure and a bedazzled phone I'd have said you were crazy. Truly, what could be more opposite of a bear than that, and if he weren't already married, pursure far beyond the woods and back.

 

There are more sub-categories and sub-cultures than you can possibly imagine and I'd personally toss the labels into the bin to avoid confusing yourself. The important thing is to be who you want to be. If you really want to identify with a certain sub-culture then you can sometimes work on your appearance to fit in, but otherwise forget about it.

Over time, you can find yourself moving from one category to another anyway. Since I reached 30 I've gained a little weight and the amount of body hair I have to keep under control has seriously increased... it feels like puberty all over again some days. Does that put me in the bear category or cub category? I don't know and I don't much care either. Much as I like bears I'm not ready to pigeon hold myself and I'm sure my partner couldn't care less.

There are some gay men who pay too much attention to appearance, but the best gay men (the ones you really want to date) will look at other things. Hold out for one of those guys... the wait might get to you a bit, but it will be worth it for the quality of relationship you'll have with him.

 

That is one thing that has had me confused for awhile-- why are there so many labels? and why is it that it feels that you must choose a label in regards to your sexuality? You like who you like. This is one area that is confusing and frustrating.

 

in a perfect world people would love our souls first and our outer apperance 2nd. this does not happen in the real world. and if it does, it's rare. the human mind is trained to categorize. it's what we do best. same with outer appearance. the bottom line is people are going to judge you because of your weight. you're going to be too fat for some, too skinny for others, too this or too that. so why conform to this? why not focus on being the best YOU that YOU can be and to heck with all the labels. if someone doesnt like you, then screw em.

 

You don't have to label yourself. It is all bs.