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Am I bisexual?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by John2517, Jul 3, 2014.

  1. John2517

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    This will be VERY LONG. There's a lot of backstory.

    Over the past 2 years my sister has been best friends with this guy. He's a year ahead of her and they were junior/senior in HS when they became friends. My family did and always has approved of him. For a while they thought he might be gay but hoped he wasn't b/c they'd make a good couple. He recently came out a couple months ago but we were more than excepting of this and he is practically family. He's like the big brother I always wanted. Last summer he went on vacation with us for a week. Among that time he grew on me and I really looked up to. Since then, I've been somewhat attracted to him. I didn't know if I liked dudes or this was just some isolated bromance because of our relationship. This May I started to dwell on this more and more so I talked to my guidance counselor and told my sister's friend. My counselor didn't help too much and my sister's friend was very understanding but he can't do much to help me out. Neither my parents nor my sister know. My issue is guaranteeing certainty. If I'm bi, I'm bi. I'm already ready to accept that and come out. The thing is I want to confirm or deny my bisexuality without anyone more knowing of this, in case I am hetero. Because I know if ppl find out about this and I'm straight, it will haunt me for the rest of HS. And I feel like I'll only know for certain if I can experiment with the same sex. And there's not even anyone at school that's gay and that I would trust to keep quiet. I have no idea where I can go to or who would be willing to do such a thing. So in conclusion I feel trapped like any step leads to a land mine. :bang::bang::bang:
    Please help!!!
     
  2. Vampire

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    First of all, don't rush into tagging yourself. You are who you are and you're perfect. I can't tell for sure if you're bisexual or heterosexual. One thing I can tell you, you're not perfectly heterosexual. Your best bet would be to ask your sister's friend to do something intimate with you, for example give you a kiss. Only then will you know if you liked it or was just a bromance, as you put it. Also, give it time. You don't have to come out. If you'll ever find a boyfriend, you can come out then. There's absolutely no rush.

    Lots of love,
    Andy
     
  3. ShadowsRunner

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    I agree with Andy don't rush into labeling yourself. Thats why I say I'm bi because I'm not sure if i like guys or girls more. Maybe what you feel for him is based on your relationship with him or maybe its because you have real feelings of love for him. As Andy said you never know til you try something or even talk to him about it. And in the end only you can know for sure who you are.
    -ShadowsRunner
    (those who need help i will always do so.)
     
  4. John2517

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    I've asked about experimenting with him and he said he wouldn't do that because he couldn't do that to my sister. Like it'd it's be too awkward doing such a thing with her brother.
     
  5. ShadowsRunner

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    hmm..I can see where he is coming from, she is his best friend and vice versa from what you have said. He might not be into experimenting at the moment, but maybe if you two got closer together something might happen but at the moment it seems hes not interested in doing things. Give it sometime things might changes.
     
  6. John2517

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    Yeah, I bet in a couple years it could happen, but with me still in HS and him in college, plus my sister ALWAYS hanging out with him. It's very rare for us to talk or hang out that much but I try my best. Perhaps I can try to reach out to him more?
     
  7. ShadowsRunner

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    Hey anything is possible. Like you said hes pretty much like your older brother and family member so he might also have that mindset right now. Ya whenever your sister and him come home or just him try to hangout, see a movie, play some video games. Just small things to hang with him and get to know him more. I have no doubt you will make the right decisions. If down the line you need advice shoot me a message. :slight_smile: