Hi everyone, I'm new to the site and have a lot of questions, however first I wanted to ask for your tips/insight into being patient with yourself and others while figuring out your orientation. Long story short, I am questioning my sexual/romantic orientation now at age 27...after thinking I was straight my entire life, I fell head-over-heels for an older lesbian co-worker last year and the two of us are now together. She is my first romantic relationship partner. I am currently experiencing a lot of self-doubt about who I am...I don't see any clear childhood signs that I would be gay, however from reading on here I'm aware that's not how it works for everyone. When I met her, my girl was in a long term committed relationship that just recently ended. She insists my influence did not play a role in that and I believe her. I had never planned to tell her my feelings, however about 8 months ago after some alcohol I told her everything and turned out she felt the same way. I have been very open with her regarding my questioning status - the last thing in the world I would want is to hurt her or make her feel misled as I am figuring myself out. We are both very much in love. What tips/advice (the more specific, the better!) does everyone have regarding being patient? With yourself, with others (like my parents - yikes! My dad is not happy about the situation), etc. I don't know yet if I am 100% gay, or just bisexual, or straight with this one woman as my exception. I wish I knew which label best fits me, but I just can't say yet. It is SO hard to be patient with myself and the pressure from others, while I figure this out. It's also interesting that some friends/family have been surprised about the relationship, while others are not surprised at all, like "oh yeah that makes sense". Whether you "always knew" or if it was a slower process of identifying and accepting, I would appreciate any tips you have regarding patience, or any other tips for me as I navigate my relationship. I am trying to avoid labeling myself for now and just enjoy the relationship and focus on her. It's just hard some days that I can't seem to find a label that fits yet.
Being patient is hard because you don't know if/when you'll stop questioning. You don't have an endpoint for this process. So just get comfortable with that, and stay mindful of what you want/need at any point in time. Don't force things one way or another.
Try to learn to accept what IS - rather than what will be, won't be, might be, mightn't be / was, wasn't, might have been, mightn't have been. There's millions of books, audiobooks, podcasts etc.. on the subject
lol I just responded on the other thread that you posted on and then saw this one... my thing is to NOT let people pressure you into taking a position on your sexuality. You're in a relationship with a woman. This should speak volumes to you What I didnt address in the other thread was that for me on some level I always knew but dismissed it. I also believe that other people saw it but couldnt really say anything... I mean, what do you say to someone that you think is gay when they seemingly arent even aware of it?
