Hi everybody! Just thought I'd make a thread on here to introduce my self and possibly see if anyone could help me clear my mind on some things a little. I'm 20 years old, I'm a guy and I recently decided to stop denying my self of my actual sexual orientation. I'd say since in my early teens I've found my self sexually attracted only to men and whatever I've looked at the internet (If ya know what I'm sayin') has reflected that. However, for my entire social life I'd never found my self ever acknowledging this or even looking in to it. I've been with a handful of girls and while the ends of those relationships weren't fantastic (As if any ever are, really) I generally enjoyed my time with them and felt a genuine love for them as well as thinking that they were, well, beautiful. That being said I never felt a need to engage in any kind of sexual stuff with them and most of the time it never crossed my mind. I went on with such a frame of mind, dating women and being blissfully in denial of my same-sex attractions until well...i'd say a few months ago when i realized just what the hell I was doing. You might ask what makes a person deny something so big for that long and I'm not sure, is it the pressuring of my parents telling me one day I'll meet a good woman? Just societal pressure and lack of education on sexual orientation in general? I'm not sure. Anyhow, for some reason this has led me to believe that I've somehow screwed my self over and today I'm a dude who can only be romantic with women but only finds men sexually attractive. That's pretty damn horrifying, the idea that for some strange reason I could never be happy with another dude but would also never marry a woman out of simply knowing in my own mind that would be horrible and I could never truly make one happy. I've never been in a relationship with another man as of yet, given only recently coming out to some friends and my siblings, however, These thoughts have been bugging me quite a lot and I'm not sure what to think. I mean, I'd be open to dating a man I just really don't...see it, you know? What do you think? Has my upbringings and denial left me in such a state? Am I over-reacting and in time as I accept my self a little more I will gradually begin to see the bigger picture and perhaps have a loving relationship with a man? Or are some people simply like this, and I'm doomed to be alone forever? Hopefully not, but maybe someone who has been in such a situation could over some advice, I'd really appreciate it.
