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... am I even lesbian?

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by lovemschambers, Jul 6, 2014.

  1. lovemschambers

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    I don't know if I'm lesbian or bisexual. I'm a bit confused.

    I like feminine men in women's clothing but I like more androgenous women. What sort of secuality would this make me? Am I still lesbian because I like people who give off a feminine look or am I bisexual? I'm really confused about this.
     
  2. Tyrael

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    Well it depends on a few things. I would say you're most likely bisexual from the sounds of it. How do you feel about having sexual interaction with men and women? Which one attracts you most? And possibly more importantly, which would you see yourself dating long term?

    All these can help give you some idea.
     
  3. Fallingdown7

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    It honestly depends. I know straight and bi girls who are only interested in feminine men (and I mean really feminine men) and not masculine men at all. But what makes them straight/bi is the fact they would have sex with these men. A lesbian on the other hand may find it easy to find aesthetic appeal in feminine men and joke about him being 'cute' or 'hot' but she'd never want to have sex with him.
     
  4. stocking

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    I find some feminine men very nice to look at but if it were a point where we were having sex and he took off his clothes and I did not see boobs and a vagina , it would be over I just wouldn't be able to do it and lose interest . I just can't do the sex .
     
  5. the gypsy

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    If you enjoy sexual contact with both types of genitalia, then you're bisexual. If you only like one or the other, that's obvious, too.

    From there, the rest of it is just semantics and identity.

    ..But really, I don't like titles or labels. Just be you and don't worry about what it may or may not be called.
     
    #5 the gypsy, Jul 6, 2014
    Last edited: Jul 6, 2014
  6. stocking

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    I think the one thing people show take in to account when wondering if their lesbian or not is Can they live without having sex with a man
     
  7. Fallingdown7

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    I agree with you. I think sexuality is about who you desire sexually and not so much anything else like non-traditional expressions and roles. There are non-heteronormative straight people too.
     
  8. Damien

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    Hi lovemschambers.

    I am a guy, but I can relate to the confusion you feel. I too wish I could just know what type my sexuality is right now, rather than journeying through this evolving and murky phase of confusion and transition I am currently in. I like the feminine also, both in women, and in guys, but at present effeminate guys are really drawing my attention, I feel so allured and attracted to them. I don't know if I'm bisexual or gay, and I feel uncomfortable not really knowing.

    But I don't think it is necessary to be able to fit a neat and precise label on oneself too soon. Just explore your sexuality, delve into it with attentiveness and joy, whether in fantasy or in real life, and see where the journey leads. I think this is a journey, and that a bit of patience is required as one undertakes it, before one will finally be able to say to others, "I am ...(this)".

    Damien :slight_smile:
     
  9. HTBO

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    I used to date more feminine looking men, and I used to have crushes on them. I used to think I had romantic feelings for them, but I didn't. It wasn't until recently that I realized I'm not attracted physically or emotionally to them, only women. It's possible you can be either, but if you are lesbian and not bi, it could be part of your process as you come to accept your identity. It's easier to feel 'normal' if you believe you are also attracted to men, but only you know that for sure.
     
  10. lovemschambers

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    I could see myself with a man or a woman in the future, but I think I would enjoy sex with a female more. The thought of male genitalia isn't awful, but the thought of it inside is.

    And by me liking feminine males, I mean males who crossplay. The attraction is gone when the dress comes off, haha. But I don't like women in dresses, I prefer girls who give off an androgynous look. Y'know... girls like Rebecca from RE0.
    [​IMG]
     
  11. Fallingdown7

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    Maybe you just don't like penetration by a male? That's fine. I know a few bi girls who don't like PIV and do other acts with men. But if you want to consider yourself a lesbian still, that's not wrong either.
     
  12. Nightdream

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    You're probably bisexual with preference for a particular gender expression for the man or woman. Many people with any kind of sexual orientation have these preferences, even the own sexual orientation can be considered a preference.
     
  13. lovemschambers

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    I see.

    Perhaps I'm bisexual, then.