Hi i'm 19 yrs old and im so confused! i have social anxiety so i feel really nervous talking to new ppl. i dont know if this is effecting my sexuality or not, but i dont think i want to have sex with anyone, when i picture the physical aspect of a relationship what i want is cuddles and little kisses. and to make things even more confusing is that i can see myself in a relationship with a man or a woman but ive only ever been with guys, though when i tried sex it wasnt anything, even when i finally got it to feel good it wasnt anything special. i can see myself being romantic with a girl but the genitalia i find kinda gross. but what makes things even MORE confusing is that i'm submissive. i feel submissive towards ppl i care about so friends and crushes so that makes figuring out what I want supper confusing because being submissive towards someone makes me want to make them happy and please them so what i want kinda doesnt matter as much especially when it comes to crushes and relationships. in that way i can see myself more with a guy than a girl so it makes me not sure if im really bi or if its just cuz heteronormative society or because i had some bad experiences submitting to girls before i knew what i was doing. basically they were some friends that walked all over me and hurt my feelings a lot though it wasnt even their fault really cuz i wasnt self aware enough to draw the line and stand up for myself. but ya i reallllllly dont know what i want. any advice would help...
