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Bisexuality and gender expression: "dressing gay but not too gay"

Discussion in 'Sexual Orientation' started by wanderinggirl, Jul 7, 2014.

  1. wanderinggirl

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    I am currently at home wearing a pair of chino shorts that fits very slouchy/masculine, minimizing my hips. Also wearing a sports bra and a button down that's for women but not overly feminine. I feel like strutting around when I dress like this! I've been dressing like this around the house and then swapping something out for a more feminine item of clothing when I go out. I don't have dysphoria when wearing feminine clothes, but I much prefer masculine styles; sometimes I change as soon as I come home, and not just to be more comfortable. I also have short hair.

    OK so my question is, do any other bi-identified women prefer to dress more masculine? Do any bi men dress more feminine? Do you feel like you have to hold back so people don't assume you're gay, because people usually assume that gender expression is related to sexual orientation? Do you care or have you just stopped caring? Do you dress differently in a relationship with a same-sex partner than with an opposite sex partner?
     
  2. Wuggums47

    Wuggums47 Guest

    I'm not exactly a man, I try to dress in a way that is simultaneously masculine and feminine. The gayer I look the better.
     
  3. wanderinggirl

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    "The gayer the better", I like that. (!)

    I guess youre more confident being out than I am, while I still struggle with being overtly out. But blurring gender lines is awesome, I admire your boldness.


    I guess I just mostly see bi people of both cis-genders dressing very straight, and I feel like I can't blur the lines as much, like I'm not allowed to.
     
  4. Tinker

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    You should dress like you want to ..

    I sometimes dress more masculine or more feminine it all depends of my mood.

    I don't let people decide how i have to dress. But I do wonder what people think when I wear a button down and a cap, then i think who care.. :slight_smile:
     
  5. GeekMonkey

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    Just wear whatever feels right for you and makes you comfortable.

    If people assume you're gay, so what?

    I am a lesbian and I dress very straight, so people always assume I'm straight and I hate that, but that doesn't make me change my style, cause I like the way I dress and it makes me feel good.

    Bonus point: you'll probably have more girls flirting with you than I do lol. And men seem to assume every woman is at least straight enough to sleep with them, so I doubt you'll have men stopping to hit on you because they think you're gay.
     
  6. Aspen

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    I dress however I want to dress that day. More often than not that's just jeans and a hoodie. Yesterday I randomly felt like I really wanted to wear a dress even though I was just hanging around the house, so I did.
     
  7. wanderinggirl

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    You guys are really calling me out here. Hmm... what I WANT to say is "if people assume I'm gay then I'm misleading them" but now that I think about it it's more likely that I'm still a little bit ashamed... maybe what I'm really saying is "if people assume I'm gay then I'll be labeled as gay and be cast out." It's stupid and homophobic on my part, I'm working on it. I just worry that people are uncomfortable with it... but that's my own issue.

    You'd think more girls would flirt with me... but alas as "trendy" as it is to be lesbian/bisexual, I only seem to meet straight girls... *sigh*

    I really have to get over all this. I'm tired of policing what I wear.